Adventures of the Human Slug! (Comedy Sketch) | DVD #5

Adventures of the Human Slug! (Comedy Sketch) | DVD #5

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Nobody understands me. It’s who I am! Why won’t you accept me for who I am?! (Sigh) Someday… someday I’ll be a sl- DAVID! I MADE YOU BREAKFAST LETS GO! Ok give me a second. (softly) someday… ill be a slug. It’s okay, you don’t have to worry, it
just takes time. You don’t have to cry. Please don’t cr- Hi Mama Hi disgrace, I mean hi David I made you some
breakfast. Please tell me you made me earthworms. Nooo… I made my special soosages. I’m sick of the soosages, you make soosages
everyday, look they’re not even cooked! Now you listen to me son, you never appreciate
anything I do, I left those soosages out to defrost for 12 hrs and who put them back in
the freezer? You? Thats right! You! Now you better pick ’em up and eat ’em before
I call the CPS to pick you up and take you to your dad’s house! Um, if you’re thinking to dump him on me,
I don’t want him. GET OUT OF MY HOOOOUUSE! Uh, no, I just wanted extension on child support! I have to eat that now, no problem. Moooom
What do you want? Im rethinking the decisions I’ve made in my
life, and I don’t think I should’ve eaten that soosage. Why, what’s wrong with my soosages? Well… I think it’s given me breasts. Yes, that’s because I put a cup of estrogen
hormone in each soosage. I wanted a girl, and I’m gonna get my girl,
one way or another. I don’t like my life right now, that’s all
I’m gonna say. Well, why are you on the floor? Cuz I’m a slug… and I can’t get up. Last time I hear that was when you were 4
years old, you still think you’re a slug? Ok, you know what MoOoOoOom,
I’ll tell you something MoOoOoOoOom! (ice cream truck plays) ICE CREEEEAAAM! My boobs are in the way. (still struggling) Forget it, I think he’s
gone. Mom… (Mom gyrating hips) Mom… mom… MOM! MOOOOM! Fine I’ll go poop by myself! (Questionable behavior) OK, i think this is where i cross the line. Where’d my breast go? So that was the adventure. I suffer through the constant disapproval
of everyone, but one day I’ll make it, whether it’s by science, or technology, or magic,
or hallucinations, one day I’m gonna be a slug. So that was my story. I hope you enjoyed it. I can’t turn off the camera. Nooo-!

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