@AnthonyPadilla Crushes the Cry Battle Challenge – Cry Battle

@AnthonyPadilla Crushes the Cry Battle Challenge – Cry Battle

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– Hum. – (sighs) okay. Let’s do it. (hardcore rock music) Hello and welcome to Cry Battle, the show where whoever
cries the most wins. And we’re with Anthony Padilla. – Hello. And I’m ready to cry. – Anthony, are you
a big cry baby? – I don’t know about the
word baby but I do cry– – Uh huh. – Quite a bit. I’m not afraid to show
my emotions at least since going to therapy. Before therapy, I
was a (phew) wall. – Walled up? – Wall. – I went to therapy for
the first time on Sunday. – Sunday? – Dude it was Sunday. – Less than a week
ago was your first experience with therapy? – It was four,
yeah four days ago, and I was like, oh. – How was that? – I was really crying. – Oh, you actually got into it? – Yeah. When did you do therapy? Was it four days ago? (laughs) (upbeat rock music) So the first round
is crying on command. Do you feel like you
can cry on command? – I don’t know, I feel like sometimes I
can muster up a little like glossy look but I don’t
think I’ve ever gotten to the point where it’s like,
on command tears dropping down the cheeks kind of status. – [Jordan] Nice. – What about you, you
pretty good at it? – I’ve been practicing for
a couple months now now that I know that we’re
actually filming this show. – Oh, you’ve been
practicing, shit. – How’re you feeling? Ready? – No, but let’s do it, yeah. – All right, let’s go
three, two, one, go. (suspenseful string music) (explosions) (sighs) How you doin’ man? – I felt it. I couldn’t feel a drip. – You got a little drippy. – Whoa, I don’t even know
what I was thinking about, I was just, it was an
empty void in my head. – Really? I also was empty. (laughs) – That’s why we’re. (laughs) I’m like, I’m so empty. (laughs) Life is meaningless. – Okay, when I say sad, you say childhood. Sad. – Childhood. – What comes to mind? – Feeling like I was
never good enough. – Oh god, fuck. I’m laughing because I almost
immediately started crying. (laughs) – I saw it, I saw your, why did you– – [Jordan] I’m crying right now. – Yeah, why did
you cry from that? – I don’t know. – Why did that make you cry? – It’s ’cause I
felt the same way. (both laughing) – It was too relatable? – I was like whoa. (laughs) I just went to
therapy on Sunday. (hardcore rock music) And now for a round
called watching emotionally manipulative videos. – Oh, great. – [Jordan] Now, on the
screen we see this dog here. – I see a dog, it’s
just a still frame of a dog pushing dirt. I don’t know what’s
about to happen, but I know it’s gonna be– – [Jordan] It’s gonna be– – It’s already, I feel it. – Three, two, one. – Play. – [Male Voice] Anything at home. – No! – Oh, fuck. (suspenseful music) – Yo, that’s fucked up. – That’s really messed up. – He’s burying another dog. – Oh, was it another dog? – Don’t you see the
legs popping out? – [Jordan] Oh, fuck. – The dog is
burying another dog. – He’s burying another dog, I thought he was
digging up a human. – No! Whoa, so maybe this dog is
actually just burying something it thinks that it wants
to save later to eat. – Yeah, yeah maybe the
dogs like I’m gonna eat the fuck out
of this other dog. (both laugh) (hardcore rock music) Okay, now for a round
called looking at yourself in the mirror and crying. Basically, you look at
yourself in the mirror and attempt to cry. So, let’s do it. (suspenseful music) (explosion) Man. What are you thinking about? – I’m telling myself
I’m good enough. – Oh god. (laughing) Stop doing that. (hardcore rock music) Okay, so this round is
called cutting onions. Supposedly, onions like when
you break the cell walls of an onion, they make you cry. – Is there a reason for that? – There’s like a
chemical release. I guess the blunter the knife,
the more damage to the cell walls and more gases get
released to dry your eyes out. – Oh, got it, got it. – Yeah. But I don’t know,
I’m not a scientist, I’m just the son
of a doctor, so, who am I to say? – Damn, that sounds
like an insult. – On a plane, there was someone like suffering
from a medical emergency. And we were on
vacation and my dad, they were like, “Is
anyone a doctor?” And I saw my dad go. (laughing) – I wonder if that
happens all the time? It’s probably like the
same thing as someone realizing that you own
a truck with a bed, and you’re like, mmm, no
I’m not helping you move. – In an interview, you said
you would choose Squirtle as your starter Pokemon. – Yes, ’cause I’m not a chode. – ‘Cause you’re not a chode? – Yes. – That’s a good reason. – Oh. – Were there any, oh, wow. Oh wow. Okay, oh God, yeah,
nice, nice, nice. Yeah, cry for me dude. Cry for me bro. – Do you like that? – [Jordan] I like it, please. – Do you like it? – [Jordan] Yeah. – Do you want more of it? – Yeah. – You like when I cry for you? – I want you to cry
all over my face man. (laughing) When you were 15,
you were diagnosed with Henoch-Schonlein purpura? – Wow! – Was that right? – If these, if I didn’t
have these gloves on, it would be a loud clap that
you’d be hearing right now. – Loud clap for me. – You did it man,
that was impressive. – So, who’s your starter, Henoch, Schonlein, or purpura? (laughing) – Holy shit. I’d be into those Pokemon. Just a little medical awareness. – So that sort of
left you bedridden, home-ridden for a long time. – It attacked my insides. My intestines and
my digestive system, and I wasn’t able to
process food or keep it down in the same way. And, I was near convinced
I was going to die because I was just laying
there not able to function and I was just
constantly vomiting. – Oh my god, that’s so sad man. – Yeah, I can tell. (laughing) No onions needed. (hardcore rock music) – Now for a round called pulling nose hairs with tweezers. – [Anthony] Cool, so– – Pick up your little mirror. – So we’re plucking? – Yes, we’re plucking nose
hairs and I’ve read on the internet that it’ll
illicit tears. – Shall we do it? – [Jordan] Yeah, let’s do it. – Okay. Got dos. Get nothing? Oh, okay. That one I felt. – Yeah, okay, there you go. Nice. – [Anthony] Is it
working for you? – Yeah, look at this. – Are you crying ’cause it
hurts or because you’re sad that you’re losing a bit
of yourself every time. You’re like I grew that. I built you with my own energy. – (laughs) like
I’m their mother. – [Anthony] Yes (laughs). – And now you’re leaving me. What, just because
you got into Barnard? – Barnard? – All girls school man. – Oh, hell yeah! – What, what do the
girls prefer more? Is it, was it the
emo hair, the fro-y, sort of long hair,
or the current, this is new. – This is newer, yeah. This is within the
last two months. – You know what, fuck
what the girls think. What does Anthony prefer more? – I think Anthony prefers
what he’s got going on at the moment. – [Jordan] Right now? – Yeah, like I actually
shower every morning which is great. This is– – Wait, you’re saying that
you shower every morning? – Yeah. Top that. – You know what’s annoying? – [Anthony] There’s
a lot of hair. – Is my girlfriend, I’m
sort of ragging on her, (laughs) and sort of my hag. – I like how I haven’t
mentioned my girlfriend at all, you’re like well my girlfriend! – Yeah, this is my show to
talk about my girlfriend and our problems so, Gwen if you’re watching this, stop laying down on the
bed with your hair wet. (laughs) – That’s where you’re
gonna draw the line? – Does your girlfriend do that? – Ahh, mmm? – Out of the shower,
hair on the bed. – Not so much, but that
doesn’t bother me so much, ’cause I’m not a little asshole. (laughs) (hardcore rock music) – Okay, now for a round
called using cry sticks and saying sad
lines from movies, and seeing who does it the best. Actors sometimes can’t
muster up tears themselves. – Because they’re bad, or? – Because they’re bad. So they just like rub this
under their eyes and it kind of like pulls the tears out. – I didn’t know that you
could just rub lipstick under your eyes and it
would just work like that. – This round works a
little differently. Whoever can say
their line the best, the most emotionally well
acted way, wins that. – Okay, cool, I’m in. – [Jordan] Sounds good. – Let’s do it, yeah, absolutely. – [Jordan] Nice. – [Anthony] Whoa, how’d
it get my snot going? It does it’s whole thing. – It did the snot too? – Mhmm. Oh my god. – Read your line. – Now I know I’ve got a heart. Because it’s breaking. – And I still love you, in my own fucked up way. I miss you. I really do. Can we still be friends? (laughs) I can’t open my fucking eyes. – Yeah, me neither. Wilbur didn’t want food. He wanted love. – Just because we can’t
be together doesn’t mean I don’t love you. (laughs) – You finally did
it you maniacs! You blew it up! – You get nothing! You lose! Good day, sir! – You don’t know how it
feels to be worthless when nothing you do matters! I feel that way every day! – Sometimes you
love people so much you have to be numb to it because if we actually
felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn’t make
you a bad person, it just means your
heart’s too big. – Smile you son of a bitch. – Happy Christmas, Harry. – Happy Christmas, Ron. (hardcore rock music) – Unfortunately, I
have won Cry Battle. – Did you? – Yeah, I think so. Thanks so much
for coming on man, I really appreciate it. – Thank you man, I just
want you to know you are good enough, okay? – (laughs) fuck you. That’s really fucks me up. Phew, okay. Let’s do it. – Yeah, are we
supposed to leave? ‘Cause I can’t even I
can’t even open my eyes. – I don’t know, I can’t open my fucking eyes. – Wow, well that was something. My names Anthony Padilla. I’ll be here on Comedy
Central’s channel all week. I had to pay them
to do a takeover. But that’s totally cool. If you want to see more
of this disgustingly weird stuff that we made, make sure to click over here. I promise you, you will
not be disappointed. And please, subscribe. Comedy Central paid
me to say that. (relaxing music)

100 thoughts on “@AnthonyPadilla Crushes the Cry Battle Challenge – Cry Battle”

  1. Damm. .I have major depression. I'd crush this! 😢

    PS: "man, what are you thinking about?" (Sounds like stoners looking at the stars ☺)

  2. YouTube this is ur fault for making stupid people believe people like this is funny. Ur single handedly making people stupid.

  3. Jimmy Kimmel wins hands down !!!

    ln this corner, wearing black face and telling young girls to touch his groin, while his bodyguards have loaded hand guns… Crying Kimmel.

    ln this corner… the Greatest President in U.S. History… The Don, Donald J. Trump !!!

    Kimmel: Trump did what? Waa Waa Waa…

    Trump: OK l will do another 4 years.

    The World: YES !!!

  4. Wtf!!!! Im so sorry but this is the lames fckn show on YouTube… i just waisted time watching 2 grown man trying yo cry wtf really this is a fckn show… i give it like 2 episodes till ppl realize how wack this is

  5. In this latest cry battle, we’ve on the right the radical leftist and over here on the left we’ve a trump supporter! Let’s see which can can become so butthurt the most that one of them will cry out more tears then the other one ☝🏻 😆!!

  6. Sadly there's no Lie With Me or Angry Birds sad moments. Or even sad moments from SMOSH videos.

    And even the Shizaaaa scene

  7. After having two kids I can think of like any song or sad disney moment and cry my eyes out. I'd really rock this challenge

  8. If you breathe through your nose onions make you cry. I cut about 100 pounds every day for 4 years and eventually figured out how to never cry LMFAO

  9. This video is actually a cry from society and the persona people have when they feel bad but make a joke about it.

  10. bitch it that was me cutting onions I would annihilate this, because every time I have to cook I'm sobbing, then the crying for onions makes me think about my shitty life and it all becomes one thing so quickly that I'm gasping for air and rolling on the floor

  11. 6:47 when i can't come up with my own tears for my fake argument just to have make up sex, Quick!!! Run to the kitchen!!!! Hehee.

  12. Oooh ladies take your pick from the weakest men on earth….opps did I say men…I meant boys….sorry I didn't mean boys I meant bitches!

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