Bad Breath of the Wild

Bad Breath of the Wild

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Everybody loves Breath of the Wild! But not me. I find the latest entry in the beloved Legend
of Zelda franchise chockful of seriously aggravating design decisions and I aim to whine about
all of them. Welcome, to Bad Breath of the Wild! Link begins his adventure surveying the vast
expanse of the land of Hyrule. Look Simba. Everything the light touches, is your playground. See that mountain in the distance? You can go there! So, you look around, pick a destination, point
the control stick towards whatever looks most interesting and Link takes off at a speed
I would politely describe as a casual jog. Now, I wouldn’t say Link is slow, he’s just
not quite as fast as I think he should be and that gets really frustrating considering
the sheer size of the play area he has to hoof it across. It’s like being trapped behind someone driving
38 miles an hour in a 40 mile an hour zone. Yeah, they’re only going 2 miles an hour under
what they should be but… oh my God, go faster! Luckily, Link does have the ability to sprint
and I’m happy to report that he does so at what I feel is the appropriate speed. Not only that, but his “hauling ass” animation
is hilarious. Unfortunately, Link can only sprint for three
seconds. Three Seconds. You can increase Link’s stamina but it is
going to take hours and hours and hours of gameplay before you collect enough Spirit
Orbs to even get his stamina to what it was at the start of his previous adventure. Luckily, you can get a horse a few hours into
the game but until then, this is how Link gets around. Spriiiiiiiint… Jooooooog… Spriiiiiiiint… Jooooooog… Spriiiiiiiint… Oh look, a body of water between Link and
his destination. Come Link, show us a stroke worthy of the
Hero of Hyrule! Yeah. You can use chunks of stamina to surge through
the water but you better manage it carefully because if you run out and drown before reaching
the opposite side you’ll have to start again or run around. Either way, not too speedy. Luckily, swimming doesn’t seem to be a big
part of this game. But climbing is. Link is constantly climbing to get where he
needs to go and he climbs slow. So slow. Climbing is so slow. Like with swimming, you can eat up a portion
of your stamina to climb more quickly but if you run out before you get where you’re
going you’ll fall and have to start again. Which, as I mentioned, is very, very slow. Oh, and Link can’t climb up slippery, wet
rocks so you better hope you don’t get caught halfway up a cliff face when it starts raining
because if it does, and it probably will because it rains a LOT in this game, you’re options
are either wait it out, literally stop playing the game for several minutes, or para-glide
off the cliff and go somewhere else. Of course, Link is so slow, by the time you
get somewhere else, it will have stopped raining. “But Andrew,” I hear you say. “Just use the weather forecast, conveniently
located at the bottom right of the screen. If it’s going to rain, don’t start climbing!” That is an excellent tip. So, let’s talk about the weather forecast. Next time. Oh yeah, this is going to be a multi-part
series. Hey folks. On Saturday, Nov. 3rd, I’m playing video
games for 24 hours to raise money for the Rady Children’s Hospital as part of the Extra Life
charity event. Last year, you helped me raise $1200. This year, let’s shoot for $1500. You’ll find a link to my donation page in
the description. What will I be playing? Breath of the Wild.

10 thoughts on “Bad Breath of the Wild”

  1. In the video: "I wouldn't say Link is slow."

    First line of the description: "Link is slow."

    You might not say it, but you'd certainly type it.

  2. – you can get a horse way earlier than "a couple hours in" t

    – there are multiple ways to cross bodies of water outside of swimming that don't drain your stamina (cryonis, using trees as bridges, riding a raft, gliding over from high ground). the restrictions to swimming force you to think about your environment more.

    – you even had the climbing bandana that speeds up the process equipped in the video, and beyond that there are a ton of ways to climb surfaces even with level one stamina (almost every vertical surface has a bunch of little slopes and inclines where you can rest, the challenge comes from finding these and managing your stamina properly). you can set a patch of grass on fire to create an updraft and use the paraglider or pass the time at a campfire until it stops raining, and even when it is raining you can time your wall jumps in such a way that makes getting up even slick surfaces possible. there's also revali's gale.

    on a more general note, your complaints suggest to me that you're looking at world traversal purely as a means to an end rather than its own challenge. i think the game just isn't for you man

  3. The funny thing with rain is that it seems to know when you want to climb and adjusts the weather, to ensure rain happens. No joke, I'm pretty sure there's some kind of math going on, in the code, trying to predict what you're aiming to do and when.

  4. The plan is to release a new episode of Bad Breath of the Wild every other day until the Extra Life marathon on Nov. 3rd.

  5. Looking forward to the next one! Agree with every point brought up in this one. BotW is the worst Zelda game in my opinion… 1 and 2 are hard to go back to but they provide some nostalgia aspect, at least. I disagree with almost every single choice that's been made to diverge from the titles before this. Basically I bought a console with this being the first title to eagerly wait for and half of the time I spent with the game I felt like it could and should have been different and better.

  6. BotW does a lot of things right but I hope that for the next Zelda, they mix in more of the older classic elements again. I love the graphics, the physics, the controls of BotW, but it gets very repetitive and breaking weapons and shields every 2 minutes is just getting annoying at some point, as well as going into the 120th shrine with the same old monk, ding ding jingle and whatnot. Open world Zelda can work very well as BotW shows, but there are a lot of little annoyances and quite some missed potential. Still a great experience to play through. I still put Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time above BotW.

  7. Thank you for being a nintendo fan with a level head. I "like" botw just fine but scratch my head when I see all the reviews and goty awards calling this the best game of all time. Like really? Even with the constant weapon breaks, lackluster story and clunky menu system? Are we playing the same game?

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