(Intro) Michael: Whats that?
Geoff: Some sort of knife Michael: All of that- he’s throwing in bucket can go right into the trash Geoff: This might be the most used piece of equipment M: Well yeah, that’s why its fucking still here I’ve had to save that table several times from being thrown away Jack: Straightened it M: Its not straight, its up G: Its fine, it’ll even out J: It kind of curves M: There perfect. Don’t touch it- Ohhh M: Yeah, you just threw a bunch G: Here we go this, everything we’re gonna need M: Hang on- Does anyone need tissue paper? Does anyone’s wives need tissue paper? Geoff: No Oh, you know what we can do? We’ll do this So your shirts clean Perfect. Alright Michael: That is perfect Gav (quietly): Does anyone’s wives need tissue paper? (laughs) M: What? They say that. They love it, I don’t know a single man who fucking saves tissue paper Haven’t meet ’em Michael: I’ve meet a whole lot of women- Gavin: Not me Michael: -who fucking love it Michael: Does that make it offensive?
Ryan: We doing something else? What are we doin’? Geoff: We’re doing both
Michael: We’re doing something else first Ryan: Okay Michael: Might want to take this away from here Ryan: and I’m looking at the assembled items here and I’m a little lost- -Where this is going Trevor: Theory is, Ryan, theory is… Jack: That there- Michael: Just start there, and you can kinda figure it out Jack: There you go
Ryan: okay, okay (Overlapping chatter) Michael: I’m quite- I’m not understanding this. Is he gonna tape this down? Jack: I think so
Geoff: Yeah Michael: Like oh shit- like the beginning of, fucking- it’s like the beginning of Wolfenstein, like oh no I’m not gonna hit the toothpaste. Geoff: Ahhh, don’t spoil it, don’t spoil it. I haven’t seen it Michael: Yeah, there’s a lot of toothpaste Alright, let’s, now you’re being ridiculous. That’s got such a bigger surface. Ryan: Yeah, but you want you want a narrow surface Michael: Nah you want like as much tube as possible Ryan: No no no no. The smaller the surface area, the more force is applied Michael: Yeah, but this might like rip the thing. R: I mean it might, that’s the risk you run R: When you combine the most amount of force
M: But when you’re doing this M: But it’s like we’re talking about most amount of force or most amount of toothpaste. It’s two separate conversations Let’s not coin flips this conversation. Both are active Geoff: We ready to go? M: I think it’ll go Geoff: How far- you think it’ll go? How far back should Gavin- M: I think it’ll shoot
Geoff: How far back should Gavin? Geoff: Here’s the thing. Here’s the thing. Gavin let me get you ready for this. Okay, so we’ve been we had a bit of an intervention with you You’ve got British teeth. British mouth It’s getting stinky
M: Brit mouth Geoff: We wanna- We know you don’t like doing anything that’s boring Gav: That’s true (Incoherent Geoff)
Gav: Who wants to brush their teeth with a brush? Geoff: Right. We wanna make it a little more extreme
M: Lindsey nice pose L: Thank you. Cats are mourning it as I watch Geoff: Alright, fine R: Here’s a though-
Geoff: I’m never going to say no R: Hold up, here’s a thought. Should we take this outside? M: Why? Why? What is this?
G: Jack did it! M: What is this under here? What the hell are you doing?
G: Jack did it! R: Get that out of here M: Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ
G: Its not me Gav: Was it a fart bag? M: It’s a fart bag. I looked away for one second and theres a fart bag under the fucking… Geoff: Yeah, we’re going to go that way Gav: Prediction, it’s going to come out the back (Chatter between group) R: Okay, you’re going to have to take a knee
(Agreement) Gav: Are you just going to fire the cap off at my face? Geoff: No, we’ll pop the cap So the problem is we only have one toothbrush- toothpaste R: Yeah, you’ll probably get two off
Geoff: Alright (Michael talks to Trevor) Geoff: Yeah, its true
J: We can go next with beer Geoff: Uh, I need you to open your mouth because we’re going for your mouth. Are you sure that’s not too high? M: It seems high.
Geoff: Can you get your shorts shorter, so you can… ? : Yeah, now you can get it M: There you go, now- okay, (Overlapping chatter)
J: You could do it sexier Gav: So you think this is good height? Geoff: I think that’s good. I think that might be good You might be a little far away, but…
Gav: NORMAL DAY AT WORK! J: Ryan, thought? (Michael and Jack discuss outcomes) Geoff: Here we go. On your mark, get set… …cleanliness (BAM) J (disappointed): Ohhh. You missed! Michael: Yeah
(Laughter) Geoff: All right, I’ll try again.
R: Even it out, even it out. Hang on M: Yeah, it’s true. Get the- push the bottom. Push the goob up. R: Keep it up all right.
Geoff: I’ll go from the bottom Gav: You’re seeping Geoff: Alright, here we go [HEADPHONE WARNING!] (BANG) J: Over! M: It went- It went under and over
Trevor: Oh my god, I’m fucking deaf! Geoff: It was loud (Gav laughs, Trevor winces in pain) Geoff: Gavin, maybe stand up a little bit
(Jack and Ryan mumble) T: Hold on, hold on (Background chatter) R: Just to warn you, there maybe backsplash involved
M: Its true M: And if there is I got it R: There are now two exits (Quiet muttering and laughing) (Louder chatter) Geoff: You’re gonna have to move Trevor
M: Make sure you get Gavin G: Alright, ready? This is good too, because then I get a good- I get a good… (Background chatter)
Geoff: On your mark, get set… (Assorted reactions) M: Ohh shit! You got him Gav: I felt it (Laughter and talking) M: That was uhh…perfect
Geoff: That was a little low Gav: Good job, we got the bib M: Might as well use the tube Geoff: Yeah, we got the tube. All right, this is good. We’re gonna get those teeth clean right here. (Groans of pain, laughter, chatter) Geoff: So close, so close Oh there was the height and everything was perfect.
J: You overshot Geoff: Okay, we good? R: I don’t know if you’ve got enough. Good luck Geoff: I got- I got- I got enough for one more set of beans
R: Okay Geoff: Alright, reeeeady BRUSH! (Reactions) M: That was perfect. That was amazing Geoff: Let me see, let me see Geoff: Fresh Breath! [Mission accomplished!] Gav: Much better Geoff: Fresh breath you’re clean Geoff: Oh, its amazing
Gav: Its on my neck and penis! J: Just look at this trail of tears (Geoff’s hysterical laughter) M: Excellent work Geoff M: Excellent work
Geoff: I love being away from the office and coming back You guys are ready to film I’m so glad I got that final shot in slo-mo (laughter) M: I was just pointing at the tube the whole time Ryan: Just clean it up J: That’s a good look for you right there, Gavin M: I cant tell if you’re hitting it or lifting it up Geoff: That should be a screen shot. We should just release that on Twitter right now. That’s that shot. Of Gavin. Absolutely