Breath of the Wild: Shirtless Hero – PART 1 – Game Grumps

Breath of the Wild: Shirtless Hero – PART 1 – Game Grumps

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[Arin] Hey I’m Grump!
[Danny] I’m Not So Grump! [Together] And we’re the Game Grumps! [Arin] OH FUCK!
[Danny] Oh, goddamn it. Fuck.
[Arin] Hap! Oh, my penis! [Danny] Wel… *laughs*
[Arin] My penis!~ [Danny] Welcome to Helga: Death of the Mild [Danny] Uh… The story of a woman named Helga
and how she dies eating mild sauce at Taco Bell [Arin] Alright, you’re lying [Danny] Well uh- Fucking- Is that not what this game
is about? ‘Cuz if not, I’m walking the fuck outta here [Arin] Well… So yes, um, I got- I got a… [Arin] I got a jam for ya, brotha [Arin] I got a real good jam
[Danny] Really? [Arin] Yeah
[Danny] Is the jam hot? [Arin] ♫ Listen to my rap ♫
♫ It sounds like crap ♫ [Arin] ♫ But that’s okay ♫
♫ If it sounds a little lame ♫ [Danny] Wow
[Arin] ♫ Listen to it quick ♫
♫ ‘Cuz it sounds like shit ♫ [Danny] You know what?
I didn’t expect that jam to be SO tasty
[Arin] Thank you [Danny] It’s almost like the mild sauce that Helga
fuckin’- well, whatever. [Arin] Helga so tah-sty?
[Danny] Wel- Wel- Welcome! [Danny] Welcome to Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild [Arin] Yeah! This is- It’s the new Zelda game
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] This is the day where Arin and I looked
at each other and we were like [Danny] ‘Hey, every Let’s Player in the world is gonna be
doing this do we really want to do it too?’ [Danny] And we were like… ‘Fuck yeah’ [Arin] Yeah… Well I mean it’s- it’s like the number one
asked question when we were on tour [Danny] It’s true [Arin] Uh… ‘Are- Are you guys gonna’-
[Danny] Wait, wait. It already started! [Arin] Yeah, I know
[Danny] Wait, read the things [Arin] Oh, Okay. I think there’s a voice-over in this. [Danny] Holy shit
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] All the characters…speak
[Danny] *gasp* [Arin] They speak-aroonie. The San Fernando treat. [Danny] Oh my god. That’s really exciting.
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] This sure is a lot of uh… white screenage there-
Oh, there we go! [A: Guide] O-Open your eyes… [Arin] Did you like that?
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] That’s good acting, right? [A: Guide] Open your eyes [Danny] Oh wait, wait
[Arin] Yeah, see? There is a voice-over
[Danny] Okay, yeah [Danny] Could you turn it up a little bit?
[Arin] I mean, m- [Danny] *gasp*
[Arin] So demanding, dude [Danny] Oh, she’s so pretty [Arin] That’s Link!
[Danny] Oh, uh… [Both laughing]
[Danny nervously clearing his throat] [Arin] That’s Mr. Boy, Link
[Danny] Yeah, you’re right [Arin] He’s naked
[Danny] He’s still- [Danny] He’s still a pretty dude
[Arin] Yeah, well… [Danny] He’s got those boxer briefs
[Arin] I agree [Arin] They’ve toned down the lippage a little bit [Danny] The lippage?
[Arin] Yeah. In Skyward Sword, he’s got like lips for days. [Danny] Big pillow lips?
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Alright, cool
[Arin] Fuckin’ sweet DSL [Danny] Wow [Danny] Got the ponytail going… the long sideburns…
[Arin] Oh yeah, he’s cool [Danny] I could pull that look off
[Arin] I cou- *laughs* [Arin] I mean, I couldn’t
[Danny] Yeah- You shou- [Arin] I couldn’t with the elf ears
I’d look like a big- I’d look like a doof [Danny] Believe- Believe in yourself, Arin [Arin] You gotta be a really, real like
pretty boy to pull off the elf ears look [Danny] Yeah, you’re probably right [Arin] You can’t be like- Unless lik-
O-Or like super manly, right? Like… [Arin] Like Lord of the Rings style [Danny] I feel like we’re off topic. This is-
The important thing is that Link’s in a sauna [Danny] I’m really chilling out right now
[Arin] *laughs* Just hanging out at the spa [Arin] Ah, mele~
Great way to start off this Zelda game [Arin] Just…
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Get a little relaxation
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Alright… There’s- There’s- [Arin] So this is all like mysterious and shit, right?
So I’ve been told, right? This game… [Danny] Yeah, you’re not supposed to know
what he was just doing [Danny] In that Minority Report tub
[Arin] Oh, no. Full- Full mys- mystery [Danny] My iPhone. Sick case, bro. [Arin] No, it’s the- it’s the Switch
[Danny] Ah [Arin *British accent*] Okay, thanks [Arin *Brit*] I didn’t know we were in England
[Danny *Brit*] -England [Danny] Cryogenically frozen in England? [Arin] Oh yeah
[Danny] Whoa [Arin] He’s like
[A: Link *Brit*] When’s tea? [Danny laughs] [A: Link *Brit*] Mm… Delicious
[A: Link] Hap! Whoa [Arin] He starts playing fucking 1-2-Switch on it
[Danny] Yeah *laughs* [Arin] “Sheikah Slate.”
“A mysterious tablet with a glowing center.” [Arin] “There’s something familiar about it.” [Arin] *fake laugh* You get it?
Because it’s the fucking Nintendo Switch [Danny] Got it, boo~ [Both laughing] [Arin] Yep, I got it too [Arin] Alright, let’s get the fuck outta here
[Danny] Nice [Arin] Look at how fucking jacked I am. Like I’m pretty-
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] How old is he?
[Arin] I got- I got back muscles. Like, look. [Danny] Link- Link’s older now, right? [Danny] It seems that way
[Arin] Well, I mean, every Link is different [Danny] Okay
[Arin] Except for… Ocarina and Majora [Arin] And like maybe… I don’t know [Arin] Dude, I got an old shirt [Arin] Alright, I gotta-
[Danny] I think Zelda 1 and 2 had the same Link [Arin] Did it?
[Danny] Yeah, I think so
[Arin] Maybe [Arin] Check it out! I got a shirt now
[Danny] Aw, sweet old shirt, bro [Arin] Um… Honestly… [Arin] There we go. That’s much better.
[Danny laughing] [D: Link] Ah, finally I can breathe! Right, ladies? [Arin] Awesome, well-worn trous-
Why would I want trousers? [Arin] When I can run around in…
[Danny] Yeah. Like you can just roll around [Arin] …My sweet jammie-jams
[Danny] All NUDE [Arin] Uh, okay [Danny] Look at that! Floatin’…
[Arin] Jeez- You got it, baby [Arin] *laughs* Yeah [Arin] Stilettos (?)
[Danny] I thought of (Danni) Carlos too [D: Guide] Just, um- [D: Guide] Hold the Sheikah Slate-
Um, you’re an idiot and- [D: Link] Um, okay. Thank you. [Arin] Nice [Arin] It’s filled with magic and mystery
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] *laughing* Authenticating…?
[Danny *robot voice*] Hacking computer [Arin *robot*] Downloading. Buffering.
[Danny laughing] [Arin *robot*] The internet’s connection has died [Arin] And here I am, out in the magical world [Arin] They just throw you right in
[Danny] Wow [Arin] The first Zelda-
[Danny] Awesome
[Arin] Aside from the first one, that really did this [Danny] You should put on some clothes, man
[Arin] Nah, it’s nice and sunny out [Arin] I wanna feel the warm-
[Danny] Look at you, you got the deep V [Arin] Yeah
[Danny] Hell yeah [Arin] I wanna feel the- the-
[Danny] Keep swimming, Link [Arin] The wind on my chest… [Arin] The air on my face [Arin] Dude, I- I literally just was born [Arin] So maybe chill out with the fucking… [Arin] Heck no babble- Whatever the hell’s going on [Danny] Like you’ve been awake for two seconds… [D: Guide] Relax Link, you’ll want to chill out
after your long slumber [D: Guide] SAVE THE WORLD!!!
[Arin laughing] [Arin] “If your Stamina Wheel runs-”
Okay- I can- Okay, so I can climb and shit [Arin] That’s one of the things I can do now
[Danny] Oh, sweet [Arin] Yeah. I can dash which is
an old Skyward Sword thing.
[Danny] Ooo, beautiful [Arin] I’ve been told maybe the stamina
isn’t as bad in this. We’ll see. [Arin] I will be the judge-
[Danny] Aw yeah! It’s a new Zelda game, man! [Danny] This is awesome!
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] I’m- I’m on a naked adventure, man
[Danny] WHOO! [Arin] Look at how nude I am
[Both laughing] [D: Guide] Link, stand on the cliff… majestically
[A: Guide] There’s nothing quite better- [Arin] So I can go to all these places [Arin] It- It’s just open now [Danny] Oh really?! [Arin] Yeah. The- The… The first Zelda since
the first one that’s just fucking open [Danny] It’s like they saw your uh… your Sequelitis
and were like ‘We’ll fucking show him’ [Arin] I mean…. [Arin] Yes *laughs* That would be cool
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] If they were like ‘Fuck this guy’
[Danny laughing] [A: Old Man] Uh- Oh shit!
[Both laughing] [D: Old Man] I’ll get away…
[A: Old Man] I don’t- I don’t like naked men [A: Old Man] I certainly don’t [Danny] The Great Plateau~
[Arin] Oh, I’ve gotta grab this stick [Arin] Use it as a weapon [Arin] Brah, brah. Check this out. [Arin] Hyah! Hyah! Hyah Hyah! [Danny] Excellent
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] So this game’s all about like, uh… [Danny] Beating the shit out of the people with sticks? [Arin] Well you just like find shit.
It’s not like ‘Now you have this sword’ [Arin] It’s like, you can use a stick
Or there’s like an axe that you can find [Arin] Or like this or that, or like… [Arin] It’s a little more… [Arin] *laughs* Uh… [Arin] I- I know people are tired of this analogy but
it’s a little more Dark Souls-esque [Danny] Yea- Nah, I mean…
[Arin] ‘Cuz it’s- it’s true [Danny] That’s kinda what it is [Arin] Uh, but you know [Danny *stoner*] Collect those Hylian Shrooms, brah!
[Arin] Thanks, brah [Arin] I guess I head…
[Danny] And then head over to Fish concert [Arin] But I want- *laughs*
[Danny] Really jam out [Arin] I wanna go to the REAL big fish concert [Both laughing] [Arin] I’m not into those normal sized fish
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] I want- I want to hear the…
[Danny] I want- [Arin] ♫ Ben- Ben- Benana! ♫ [Danny] ♫ Burdurdur Durdurdur ♫ [Arin] Bigger, big fish
[Danny] Yeah, I want fish so large that they… [Danny] They start the place on fire
[Arin] Watch this… Hold on [Arin] Oh no! My Tree Branch is badly damaged!
[Danny] Nooo! [Arin] HOW COULD THAT BE!?
[Danny laughs] [Arin] I’ve only used it once!
[Danny] I’ve only c-whacked it a few times [Arin] Hold on. If I- I can climb this…
and then I can take the apples [Arin] AH HA HA- Look at that!! HA HA ha ha ha [Danny] Kinda makes you feel it didn’t really need
the three question marks [Arin] Fucking Giving Tree-Ass Motherfucker
[D: Old Man] Aren’t you… a bit chilly? [Arin] Oh, he was commenting on my nakedness
[Danny] Oh yeah [A: Old Man] Rather unusual to see-
[A: Link] Who are you? [Arin] “Bye” *laughs* [A: Old Man] I’ll spare you my life story [A: Old Man] But anyway, I was born in a small town
[Danny laughing] [A: Old Man] Just an old fool who-
[D: Old Man] It was back in the Spring of ’35… [A: Old Man] I hope you’ll permit me a question…
If I may be so bold…are you not chilly? [A: Link] Where are we?
[Danny] He’s like ‘I’m chillin’ like a villain’ [A: Old Man] Answering a question… Fair enough [A: Old Man] As I cannot imagine our meeting to be
a simple coincidence… I shall tell you [A: Old Man] This is the Great Plateau [A: Old Man] According to legend, this is the
birthplace of the entire kingdom of Hyrule [Arin] Oh yeah? [D: Old Man] And I’m WAY fucking bigger than you
[Arin] *laughing* Yeah [D: Old Man] So don’t try any shit, ya nude bastard
[Arin laughing] [A: Old Man] Look. Over there…
[D: Old Man] Over there [A: Old Man] It’s a place you can buy some clothes
[Danny] Yeah, I was just gonna say ‘It’s a Forever 21’ [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] That temple there… Long ago,
it was the site of many sacred ceremonies [A: Old Man] Ever since the decline of the kingdom
100 years ago, it has sat abandoned, in a state of decay [A: Old Man] Now a bunch of homeless people
live in there and do crack
[D: Old Man] Go there and… Fix it up for me [A: Old Man] Yet another forgotten entity
A mere ghost of its former self… [A: Old Man] I shall be here for some time
Please let me know if I may be of service [Danny] Yeah
[Arin] Um… [Arin] Yeah, could you not bother me anymore?
[Danny] What kind of service? [Danny] I’m the guy who sits by the fire
and makes comments about your nudity [Arin] *laughs* Yeah
It really uh… [A: Old Man] Well then, just help
yourself to that torch there
[Danny] Yeah, right? [Both laughing]
[Danny] Well then… [Arin laughs] [D: Old Man] Anything else of my
NOTHING you want to steal? [A: Link] To set things on fire! [A: Old Man] That is rather…unnerving [A: Old Man] Please be cautious with that
around any dry grass that might catch fire [A: Old Man] You know, there’s
plenty of monsters in this area [A: Old Man] That torch would make
a good weapon, if need be [A: Old Man] That was one of your choices
and you blew it [A: Old Man] Totally blew it [A: Old Man] However, do not just swing it
around without purpose [A: Old Man] You must face your opponents
and lock your sights on them [Danny] Excellent [A: Old Man] Mmm, men are really-
[Danny] This is a very cool way to uh… [Danny] Teach you the game
[A: Old Man] Lock sights- Mmm, lock sights on you [Arin] What’s this? [A: Old Man *sarcasm*] Oh yeah,
just take that apple I baked!
[Danny] Yeah, yeah [A: Old Man] I BEG YOUR PARDON! [A: Old Man] I do believe that is MY baked apple!
You can’t just go about taking whatever you please! [A: Old Man] Oho ho! Forgive me–
I could not resist pulling your leg [D: Old Man] I’ll take your leg!
[Arin laughing] [A: Old Man] Please help yourself
An apple and an open flame make for a succulent treat [Arin] You just like take his fucking fireplace [Danny] Yeah
[Arin] And he’s like [A: Old Man] Alright, well maybe at this point
[D: Old Man] I don’t- I mean, that’s cool… [D: Old Man] I built- I built that fire
[A: Old Man] Yeah, no big deal [Arin] Uh, I’m gonna equip the torch [Arin] And then I’m gonna light the fuck out of it
[Danny] Really? [Danny] Won’t it burn out?
[Arin] Check it, Check it! [Danny] Ooo! [Arin] Look at me, look at me! I’m gonna light this one [Arin] Hyah!
[Danny] Yeah! [Arin] Look at that [D: Old Man] Okay, just burn that wood
Okay, my axe too… [D: Old man] Cool… Cool… [A: Old man] God, you’re just a
straight up thief aren’t you? [D: Old Man] Cool, cool, cool [A: Old Man] You couldn’t steal some clothes?
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Get some fucking apples, bro [D: Old Man] Oh… [D: Old Man] All the apples from my favorite tree
[Arin laughing] [D: Old man *sarcasm*] Good, good, good
[A: Old Man *sarcasm*] Things are going great for me! [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] Oh boy
[Danny] How do you crawl up to those branches? [Arin] I don’t want to
[Danny] Okay [Arin] I’m not interested
[Danny] Well that settles that [Arin] Let’s go- What the fuck?!
[D: Guide] Link [A: Guide] Link… [A: Guide] Put some fucking clothes on [Arin] Ah man [Arin] Alright. For the show, I’m gonna leave this shit on
but at home, I’m gonna turn all that shit off [Danny] Okay
[Arin] ‘Cuz… [Arin] It’s an open world game.
I don’t want to fucking… [Arin] You know what I mean?
[Danny] Follow the Sheikah Slate, baby [Arin] Uh, okay. So it wants me to go that way. [Arin] You know, I don’t WANT to…
I’d rather look over here [Danny] Stop you whining and just- Fucking goddammit
[Arin] Well, I mean look at that [Arin] Like that- that guy like immediately, was like
‘Check out this place’ and it’s like ‘Alright’ [Arin] And he didn’t set a waypoint or anything
so it’s like fuck, well, I kinda want to go there [Danny] Is that where the slate’s telling you to go? [Arin] What- No
[Danny] Oh [Arin] But I’m gonna go here [Arin] Temple of Time, bro
[Danny] Ooh… Let’s do it [Danny] See if I care [Danny] We’re- We’re doing like an hour long
episode to get this party started anyway [Arin] Oh yeah
[Danny] Like… [Arin] *laughing* So why not waste it exploring
[Danny] It- It’s like [Danny] Yeah, pointless meandering
[Arin] Side tracking [Arin] Uh, here we go
[Danny] Oh shit [Danny] Your first enemy! [Arin] It’s a Bokoblin… noblin
[Danny] Aww [D: Bokoblin] Ow, ah! Fuck! [A: Bokoblin] Ow! Is that a torch? [Arin] Hell yeah
[Danny] You go back to the Old Man like [D: Old Man] Did you meet my friend, the Bokoblin?
[Danny chuckling] [Arin] Um… [Arin] I’m gonna fucking equip that.
Oh, wait. [Danny] Equip the axe, dude
[Arin] But this one’s stronger [Danny] Oh really?
[Arin] Yep [A: Link] Hyaaah!
[Danny] Awh, man [Arin] Got ‘im!
[Danny] Wow [Arin] I got his horn, dude
[Danny] Really beat the shit out of him [Arin] “It isn’t edible, but it can be tossed into a stew
with some critters to make an elixir” [Danny] Hmm [Arin] That’s nice! Who’s telling me that?
[Danny] I don’t know [Arin] Uuuh, oh nice. Look, there’s shit in here! [Arin] I can pick- Oh [Danny laughing]
[Arin] Alright, let me just pick this one up
[D: Old Man] Did you find my pots? [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] You didn’t break them, did ya? [A: Old Man] You got a face on like you broke them
[D: Old Man] They’re basically Fabergé eggs so… [D: Old Man] One of a kind. Super…
[Arin] Wait. Why’s this- [Arin] Oh that’s not R, that’s ‘the’ R [Danny] Ooh ho
[Arin] This one’s R [Danny] Okay
[Arin] There we go [Arin] Look, I can throw fucking pots around
[Danny] It’s- [Arin] *GASP* [Arin] I’M SO EXCITED, I’M GONNA THROW THIS POT! [Danny] Yeah! [Danny] ♫ Doo ♫ (Legend of Zelda main theme song) [Arin] What’d I get?
[Danny] ♫ Doodudududu-doo ♫ [Arin] Oh shit!
[Danny] ♫ Doodudududu-doo ♫ [Arin] I got a Traveler’s Bow
[Danny] ♫ Doo ♫ [Danny] ♫ Dududoo-dududoo-dududoo ♫ [Danny] ♫ Dudu doo-doo… Doo doo doodududoo ♫
[Arin] ♫ This game… Is really, pretty cool ♫ [Arin] ♫ So far I really dig it ♫
[Danny] ♫ Doo doo dududoo ♫ [Arin] ♫ It makes me happy ♫
[Danny] ♫ Dudoodoo dudoo dudoo ♫ [Arin] ♫ To play this game ♫
[Danny] ♫ Doo doo dudoo ♫ [Arin] ♫ It is cool and fun ♫
[Danny] ♫ Doo dudoo dudoo ♫ [Arin] ♫ Everyone is cool ♫
[Danny] ♫ Doo dudoo dudoo ♫ [Arin] ♫ Like you, Dan ♫ Dan’s cool
[Danny] ♫Doo doo dudududoo dudududoo dudududoo♫ [Danny] Oh, thank you
[Both laughing] [Arin] Wow, look at this statue over here [Danny] Yeah, the- Oohhh… [A: Statue] Mm, mm… I am the pi-
[D: Statue] I am the watcher of the sacred pots [Arin] Oh, press A to pray [Arin] “The Goddess Statue smiles upon you…” [Arin] O-kay [Arin] Wha-uh…. Okay. I’m not praying.
I’m just kinda standing there, looking at it.
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] Wow, this is some dicketry
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Hold on, the fan just went on
and I gotta go turn it off
[Arin] Alright [Danny] Awh dicks!!
Well, you don’t- you don’t have to pause it [Danny] You can just keep going for like 30 seconds
I’ll be right back *Voice fading from mic* [Arin] Oh, okay
[Danny *Away from mic*] Peace out! [Danny *Away from mic*] Talk to the lovelies!
[Arin] Uh, um… [Arin] Uh, Hello! Welcome to
The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past [Arin] That’s not what this is [Arin] Um… [Arin] I got a… [Arin] I got a bow… *laughs* I got a… [Arin] Awh, this is much harder [Danny *Away from mic*] It won’t fucking happen again! [Arin] What happened?
[Chris *Away from mic*] Alright, sorry. Fuck. Look, uh… [Chris *Away from mic*] Just turn the fan off.
We didn’t realize that… [Danny *back at mic*] We were recording [Arin] What a big, dumb idiot
[Danny] We were recording a super, important
first Zelda episode [Arin] What a big, dumb fucking idiot
[Danny] Yeah! [Danny] He’s dead to me! [Danny] But don’t worry, I went easy on him [Danny] I kicked the shit- *laughs*
[Arin] *laughs* Whoa, dude! [Danny] I threw him out the window
[Arin] He’s a helpless baby boy [Danny] He is. He’s very sweet.
[Arin] Don’t kick the shit out of him [Danny] Hey- *gasp* [Danny] I love the things he sa-
He’s always so self-deprecating. He’s like… [D: Chris] Danny, could you teach me how to- [Danny] Wait.. Eugh [D: Chris] Danny, I could teach you how to be grumpy [Both laughing] [Arin] It’d be like you teach him to be like-
like a dumpy idiot. Like really. [Danny] God, it’s like ‘Chris… stop…’ [Danny] Although we do have, um… [Arin *perky voice*] Ooo! Hylian Trousers!
[Danny] The pizza test, for Chris [Arin] Oh yeah
[Danny] Have we- Have we told him about that? [Arin] No
[Danny] No, we- Well… [Danny] We’ll tell him about it ‘cuz this
would be a hell of a way to find out [Danny] We always think,
if Chris is gonna, um… do something [Danny] We’re always like ‘Well… Is it pizza?’ [Danny] ‘Cuz if he- If he cares about- [Danny] If he cares about it, it’s probably pizza
[Arin] Oh yeah [Danny] And if it’s not pizza, he doesn’t
[Arin] Fucker loves pizza [Danny] So like- When he was like
‘Ah shit, I’ve gotta do my taxes but I really don’t want to’ [Danny] And I was like ‘Well, are your taxes pizza?’
[Arin laughing] [Danny] And he was like ‘No’
And I was like ‘There’s your problem!’ [Arin] Yeah, that’s the problem [Arin] Maybe make them pizza
[Danny] Yeah. Try that. [Arin] Whoa! My fucking club’s on fire, dude
[Danny] Dude, your fucking- [Danny] I’ve got a job with Chris in mind
[Arin] WHOO! [Danny] And I’m gonna beat the shit out of him!
[Arin laughing] [Arin] NOM NOM NOM!!! [Arin] Aw, Dan, look at that. Delicious Steak.
[Danny] Well you took it [Arin] Yeah
[Danny] Damn [Arin] Well I killed them and then I took their shit
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Uh oh, I’ve- I’ve run out of stuff.
I gotta equip something else. [Danny *robust voice*] Hit them with the steak [Danny] Would you put on some clothes, please
[Arin] Why? [Danny] You’ve got some nice clothes now
[Arin] But I’m naked [Danny] It’s better for armor, isn’t it? [Arin] Who cares? [Danny] I don’t know, Arin [Arin] I’m naked as fuck!
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] Later, when you get killed in one shot by a guy [Danny] You’re gonna be like
‘This game’s fucking bullshit!’ [Arin] I’m really hoping that… They’re- The- [Arin] They- They still harp on the fact that
you’re naked through the whole game [Danny] Oh, I’m sure they will [Arin] ‘Cuz like I think- I think it’s hilarious that he’s like
‘Aren’t you a little cold?’ [Danny] Question. What is… that?
[Arin] Aren’t you a little nosy? [Danny] Whoa [Arin] Ooo
[Danny] Whoa, damn! [Arin] Oh yeah
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] Yeah, you might want to put
some fucking clothes on
[Arin] Eh, whatever. It’s all good. [Danny] Uh- Alright
[Arin] Cool [Danny] No, it’s fine
[Arin] I need a shield [Danny] *laughing* I need- I need a shield [Danny *sarcasm*] If only there were some kind of…
[Arin] To protect my body [Danny *sarcasm*] Some kind of wearable shield
[Arin laughing] [Danny] Damn
[Arin] Oh god, there’s- there’s more [Danny] Yeah, that’s actually… [Arin] Here, watch this [Arin] And I’m gonna… hyaAAHH! [Arin] Wait, I was gonna- I was gonna- I was tryin’ to…
I was tryin’ to do like a… that move [Arin] No no no! Oh shit! Oh SHIT! NOOO!
HE GOT ME!!! [Dany *sarcasm*] Noooo… I can’t believe it
[Arin] He got me! How could he have killed me?! [Danny *sarcasm*] Yeah, this is ridic- I can’t imagine [Arin] I had my skin
[Danny laughing] [Arin] That’s all the armor I need [Danny] He somehow pierced
my impenetrable, fleshy surface [Danny] Alright, well
[Arin] Did I hit continue? Okay, cool [Danny] Bu-
[Arin] Alright
[Danny] Tips and Tricks [Danny] Wear. Fucking. Clothes.
[Arin laughing] [Danny] …Stupid… [Arin] But I like being nekkid!
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] It’s fun
[Danny] I have to ask myself [Danny] Are clothes pizza?
[Arin laughing] [Arin *sensuous*] The answer… is yes
[Danny laughing] [Danny *sensuous*] I do not care about anything else
[Arin *sensuous*] I do… I do not care [Arin] HYAH! Ha ha! Ha! [Arin] Oh, it’s badly damaged- Oh no… that’s a shame
[Danny] Awwhhh [Arin] See! If I wore clothes, they’d just break on me
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] That’s- That’s probably what would happen
[Arin] Yeah, exactly [Danny] Steal their steak [Arin] So… Don’t- Don’t tease me
when I’m doing the right thing [Danny] You’re probably right [Arin] Yes, I got it. Alright, I’m gonna-
I’m gonna light it on fire [Danny] Mmm
[Arin] And then I’m gonna use it as a weapon [Arin] Against these motherfuckers [Danny] God will be on your side
[Arin] This tastes… [Danny] Have you ever heard of God
referred to as Sky Daddy? [Arin] No, that was your thing
[Danny] Oh yeah, we- we started doing that in, um… [Danny] In- In Vancouver.
But I don’t think- I don’t- [Danny] The ‘Couve! [Danny] By the way
[Arin] The ‘Couve! [Danny] Shout-out to fucking Vancouver (Canada) [Danny] We went there and fell in love with that city [Arin] Ah, so nice
[Danny] What an awesome town [Arin] So beautiful
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Oh dude, I’m starting forest fires!
[Danny] Oh fuck! Aw, dance. Aw, shit. [Danny] Um… [Danny] Yeah, so we love the ‘Couve and- and… [Arin] Love the ‘Couve
[Danny] Well, Vernon- [Arin] Love us some ‘Couve!
[Danny] We started referring to God as Sky Daddy, um… [Danny] I-I can’t remember if it was us
that came up with it or if someone told us
[Arin] Oh god, oh god [Danny] But, um… It started raining and, uh… [Danny] I saw Vernon- who actually was
a religious man in- in his younger life [Danny] Look to the sky and quietly say [Danny] ‘Give me your cummies, Sky Daddy’
[Both laughing] [Danny] *laughing* It’s like… ‘Wow’ [Danny] ‘This has been a fascinating… thing to witness’ [Arin] Uuuh… [Arin] Give me your cummies, motherfucker!
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] GIVE ME YOUR CUMMIES!
[Dan] Nice! [Arin] Dude, I knocked him- Whoa! A Traveler’s Sword?
[Danny] Nice [Arin] That sounds way- AW, A SHIELD! [Danny] Excellent
[Arin] I’m gonna- I’m gonna eq- [Arin] I got the Boko Shield!
[Danny] Is- Is that shield made out of actual Boko? [Arin] Yes [Danny] Sweet
[Arin] 100% Boko [Danny] Yeah, I looked like it was
like potato chips fused together [Danny] I don’t know how- how good it really is
[Arin laughing] [Arin] Like the French Fry Bun? [Arin] Oh, I don’t know if you know about that
[Danny] Oh… God. Yeah, that was what they- [Danny] Okay. So, for anyone who didn’t see. Arin… uh… [Danny laughs] [Danny] If anyone wanted to know if
persistence pays off when, uh… [Danny] After being spurned by a lover [Danny] Look no further than Arin’s, uh… [Danny] Three-year begging courtship with Wendy’s
[Arin laughing] [Danny] Where they were finally like ‘Yeah, come on
down to the test kitchen and… and- and try some stuff’ [Danny] Uh… And you-
One of the things you ate was, uh… [Danny] An experimental… uh, Wendy’s bun
made of, uh, fused French fries [Arin] Aw man… And ketchup! [Danny] How was it?
[Arin] Oh, it was so good [Danny] Really?
[Arin] Dude, it was delicious [Arin] I mean, Wendy’s is- is… No joke, the best fast food
restaurant of all time and I will fight you [Arin] I don’t care
[Danny] You- You are- [Arin] You can be like
‘Ooo, Internet! We’re doing Five Guys’- [Arin] Which, by the way, isn’t fast food
It’s just food served fast [Danny] I just- I just don’t like fast food
Like it’s not- It’s not anything against like- [Arin] Oh, I’m not talking about you
[Danny] Ooh! Oh [Arin] I’m talking about people who have their [Arin] ‘N-N-No. But the best one is A&W’ [Arin] It’s like… Who the fuck wants A&W? [Danny] A&W? Like the Root Beer?
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Or the ~cream soda~?
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] I didn’t know they had a-
I didn’t know they made food [Arin] Yeah, they make a- They have a fast food joint [Danny *high-pitch*] Whaat?!
[Arin] They make burgers and… [Danny] Are there-
[Arin] And cheese fries
[Danny] Are they in California? [Danny] I feel like I’ve never seen one in my life
[Arin] Um… Yeah, there’s some in California [Danny] Shit. Well, that’s news to me [Arin] Uh, there’s one like on the way to… [Arin] I don’t fucking know [Danny] Hey. Just so you know, everybody. Uh… [Danny] You can watch all the Let’s Players
in the world play this game today [Danny] They won’t be saying shit like [Danny] ‘Give me your cummies, Sky Daddy’
[Arin laughing] [Danny] And, uh, talking at length about
A&W Cream Soda/Fast Food Restaurants [Arin] Lo- Locations of A&W in California
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] You better believe that’s u-nique to Grumps
[Arin] Watch this. Hyah! [Arin] Oh, I didn’t- Awwhh, I missed
[Danny] Oh- Oh God! Oh! [Arin] Oh, that’s a shame
[Danny laughs] [Arin] Hold on. Let me- Let me try to get him
[D: Bokoblin] Shit, I’m fucked! [Danny] Whoa
[Arin] Hey, what’s up? [Danny] Damn!
[Arin] *laughs* That sucks [Danny] Daaamn
[Arin] Sorry, bro [Danny] You unleashed a melee attack
[Arin] I got their fuckin’ treasures though [Danny] Look at that skull, Goonies never say die
[Arin] Hngh! [Arin *nerd voice*] Look at my skullection
[Danny laughing] [Arin *nerd voice*] (unclear) [Arin] Oh yeah, oh yeah. Give me that fucking… [Arin] Give me that treasure, yo
[Danny] What a gorgeous game [Arin] Uh… Thank you for saying so [Arin] I spend a lot of time on it
[Danny] It is beautiful, isn’t it? Like… [Arin] Dude, I got another Traveler’s sword [Danny] Look at the little dusty things floating…
like in the wind [Arin] But they- They- They did a- I gotta say, man…
You know, I- Wha-Oh [Arin] I guess I should look before I leap, huh?
[Danny] *laughing* Yeah, how about that? [Arin] Uh… I gotta-
[Danny] Oh Okay [Arin] I gotta say, man, like uh…
Oh, I gotta find some hearts [Arin] Oh, no- I can just- I can eat! I forgot about that [Danny] Oh, it doesn’t actually kill you. Just puts you at… [Danny] The lowest possible health right there
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Um… [Arin] Is that all that- Really?
It just gives me half a heart? [Danny] Well, I mean-
[Arin] Meh [Danny] They’re just fucking on trees. They’re like- [Arin] Well whatever, man! They’re apples! [Arin] They’re- They’re nourishing and delicious! [Arin] What does that say about-
To children- about apples? [Arin] They’re like ‘Ehh, apples aren’t that great’ [Danny] I-I think it says that if you jump off a cliff… [Danny] And shatter your body
[Arin] Dude, no [Danny] Maybe two apples aren’t really
gonna get the job done [Arin laughing] [Danny] ‘Cause that’s a fair lesson actually
[Arin] Alright, fine. I get- Your perspective makes sense. [Arin] Alright, fine. I’ll take it. [Danny] Ooo, can we give a shoutout to, uh
What was the comic book store? [Arin] Uuuuhhh…
[Danny] It- With Levi and Carl [Arin] I don’t remember
It was like Golden- I don’t know
(Golden Age Collectibles) [Danny] Yeah, it was a comic store that we visited [Danny] At the ‘Couve [Danny] Uh
[Arin] At the ‘Couve~ [Danny] And uh… They were so good to us and… [Danny] I- I- I read all kinds of new comics! [Danny] Deadly Class, Paper Girls.
[Arin] Mmm [Danny] Shit is awesome
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Um, strongly recommend either of those
[Arin] Like the- the Miles Morales Spider-Man [Danny] Oooo
[Arin] Uuuhh… [Arin] Finished up, um… Astonishing X-Men [Arin] I really liked the Ultimate Spider-Man. So good. [Danny] Was it good?
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] I don’t read superhero stuff. Though I-
[Arin] I- I- I’m- [Danny] I’m sure it’s awesome
[Arin] I’m trying to find ones that I like [Arin] And I’ve hated them all
[Danny chuckling] [Arin] And I’ve liked this one
[Danny] Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! [Arin] Ultimate Spider-Man with
Miles Morales is really good [Danny] Cool, I’ll go check it out
[Arin] Um… [Arin] He’s the black Spider-Man [Danny] *gasp* What?
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] He’s- He’s awesome [Arin] He’s like my favorite Spider-Man.
He’s just so likable. [Danny] That’s killer
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] I- Like I read Ultimate Spider-Man and it’s okay
[Danny] So it’s actually- [Arin] But this one’s cool
[Danny] WHOA! Wait, this is actually… [Danny] Sorry, Black Spider-Man
You’re gonna have to wait a second [Arin chuckling] [Arin] I think- I think-
[Danny] Big things are happening [Arin] That’s a giant dick penetrating the world of Hyrule
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Oh, they’re all coming out [Danny] Oh ho ho!
[Arin] We’re all getting fucked [Danny] You like that Sky DADDY!! [Arin] Yo, look at my WORLD DICK! [Danny laughing] [Arin] Yo, that’s an Australia boner [Danny] Wow… That’s really cool
[Arin] Probably gonna shoot lasers and shit [Danny] For reals!?
[Arin] I don’t fucking know
[Danny] Oh… [Arin] I have no idea
[Danny] Don’t get my hopes up- [Danny] Don’t excite me with… fucking laser
possibilities if you’re not sure [Arin] With laser Earth dicks? [Danny] This kinda reminds me a little bit of
something in Sonic Boom. Doesn’t it? [Danny] Weren’t there those- those platforms in the sky?
[Arin slowly cracking up with laughter] [Danny] With something in the middle
that you had to like push [Arin] Let it be known, that this game is fully derivative [Arin] Of Sonic the Hedgehog: Sonic Boom
[Danny] Yeah. Yeah! [Danny] I mean, if anything, this game has a long way
to go to prove it can get to that level [Arin laughing] [Arin] If I can’t pause the game, unpause the game,
and then jump again in the air [Arin] And then pause the game and unpause the game
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] And jump in the air, again… [Arin] Then I don’t know what the fuck
[Danny] I’m- I’m gonna quit [Danny] Ooo! Is this the- Is this the full map of Hyrule? [Danny] Or is there other spots where-
[Arin] Uhh…This is the regional map [Danny] Ooo
[Arin] So, this is the map with- [Arin] Each tower, I think is attached to one section [Danny] Wow, that’s a huge map
[Arin] Yeah, this is a big one [Arin] Bigger-
[Danny] Big ol’ world [Arin] It’s the biggest one yet [Arin] It’s what they say [Danny] Really?
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Who knows if it’s dense enough to-
to be big, but we’ll see. [A: Guide] Remember… [A: Guide] Put some fucking clothes on
[Danny] *laughs* Yeah [D: Guide] Try to remember… [D: Guide] First, pants… Then, shoooes…
[Arin chuckling] [A: Guide] Zip up the crotch… [Danny] You’ve been asleep for a hundred years?! [Arin] Oh shit [A: Guide] Your name was Carl… [Danny] Oh fuck [A: Guide] Nobody calls you that anymore…
[Danny] This is dark [Arin] Oh, jeez! Is that happening right now? [Danny] I think- I think it’s a flash of like…
what could happen [Arin] Are you sure? [Danny] Oh yeah…
[Arin] Are you sure it’s not happening right now? [Danny] I don’t know!
[Arin] And I’m like ‘Whoa, dude!’ [Arin] Yeah, I think it’s happening right now
[D: Guide] Now then… [D: Guide] Turn away… Pretend this isn’t happening
[Arin] *laughing* Yeah [A: Guide] Now then, wipe your butt… [A: Guide] Probably shit your pants pretty easil- [A: Guide] Well, your shorts
[Danny] Okay [A: Guide] You would’ve shit your pants if you had pants [A: Guide] So maybe it was a good idea!
[Danny laughs] [A: Guide] To- To- To keep the clothes off [Danny] Thinking ahead
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] With anything
[Arin] Now you can wipe your ass and… [Arin] Put some new- [Danny] Follow the Shei-KAH Slate
[Arin] You got it [Danny] Shei-kahh [Arin] Where is it now? The X? The X-
That seems like a bad- [Arin] It’s like, X marks the spot, right?
But that makes it seem like it’s wrong [Danny] What do you mean? [Danny] Oh! ‘Cuz like X’s are like-
Have a negative connotation [Arin] Exactly
[Danny] I see [Danny] So, what- What should it be? [Arin] Should I just…
[Danny] Like a little dick? [Arin] Like a little dot or something. I don’t know. [Danny] A little heart; A little Valentine
[Arin] Little- Little Valentine [Danny] The smiley face Valentine
[Arin] Yes, smiggity-smile [Danny] Oh, look at this. This is-
This feels ‘Shadow of the Colossus’-y [Arin] Yeah, man
[Danny] Probably not an adjective, but- [Arin] This game’s just full- full derivative, huh? [Danny] No! It’s just- It reminds me of things I like [Arin] This blue shit reminds me of… [Arin] Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus [Danny] What the fuck is that? [Arin laughing]
[A: Old Man] HEY! WHAT’S UP? [D: Old Man] Sorry, just catching some sweet Sky Daddy
[Arin laughing] [A: Old Man] It would seem we have
quite the enigma here. Ha-ha. [A: Old Man] This tower and others like it
erupted across the land, one after another [Danny] Oh, that’s the old man
[Arin] Yeah [A: Old Man] It is almost as though…
a long-dormant power has awoken quite suddenly [D: Old Man] Please, call me Old Man
[Danny] That’s the Legend of ‘Me Old Man’ [A: Old Man] If you do not mind me asking [A: Old Man] Did anything… odd occur
while you were atop that tower? [Arin] Uh, Yeah. The tower fucking sprouted up from the- [Arin] Oh, no. I heard a voice.
[Danny] Yeah [A: Old Man] WELL NOW! A voice, you say? [D: Old Man] Was she- Did she sound hot?
[Arin] *laughs* Yeah [A: Old Man] And did you happen to recognize
this mysterious voice? [A: Link] No
[A: Old Man] Ah, I see. Okay.
Well, that is unfortunate [D: Old Man] Yeah, no… No hot chick for you
[A: Old Man] Yeah [A: Old Man] Guess you’re not very good at
recognizing voice actors or anything like that [Arin] Oh, I can move the camera and shit
[Danny] Neat [A: Old Man] I assume you caught sight of that
atrocity enshrouding the castle
[Danny] It’s a lot like Skyrim [Both laughing] [Danny] I’m just gonna make that my thing now [Arin] Whoa, rocks on the ground. That’s like Tetris
when they fall on the ground and it looks like the rocks [A: Old Man] That is Calamity Ganon [A: Old Man] One hundred years ago, that
vile entity brought the kingdom of Hyrule to ruin [Arin] Aw, that’s a shame [A: Old Man] It appeared suddenly and
destroyed everything in its path [A: Old Man] So many innocent lives were lost in its wake
[D: Old Man] Thanks for reminding me [A: Old Man] For a century, the very symbol of
our kingdom, Hyrule Castle, has managed to
contain that evil. But just barely. [A: Old Man] There it festers, building its strength
for the moment it will unleash its blight
upon the land once again [A: Old Man] It would appear that
moment is fast approaching… [A: Old Man] It’s approaching RIGHT NOW!
[Both laughing] [A: Old Man] GET DOWN!!
[Both laughing] [A: Old Man] I must ask you, courageous one… [A: Old Man] Do you intend to
make your way to the castle? [A: Link] You think I’m courageous? *shy laugh* Wow… [A: Old Man] I do [Danny] He’s like ‘Excuse me!’ *slurps*
and he just like wipes his chin [Danny] And like his whole beard is just like fucking gravy
[Arin laughing] [Danny] ‘Oh, sorry, I-‘
[Arin] Like whipped cream [Danny] ‘I was eating mashed potatoes earlier and I…’
[Arin laughing] [Danny] ‘I got a little lost in- in the experience’
[Arin] *laughing and slurping sounds* [A: Old Man] I had a feeling you would say that
’cause that was the only option [Danny laughs] [A: Old Man] Here, on the isolated plateau [A: Old Man] We are surrounded on all sides
by steep cliffs, with no way down [A: Old Man] Let me give you this item to help you down [D: Old Man] No death could be more certain [D: Old Man] Unless you had some a-pples with you
[Arin laughing] [A: Old Man] One or two will do the trick!
[Danny laughing] [A: Old Man] Of course, if you had a paraglider like mine,
that would be quite another story [A: Old Man] SEE YA!
[D: Link] Hand it over!
[Both laughing] [A: Link] Paraglide-
[A: Old Man] Oho! Piqued your interest, have I? [A: Old Man] Yes, I didn’t come soaring down here
on my own feathery wings, you know! [A: Old Man] Worry not– I will happily agree
to give you my paraglider [A: Old Man] But not for nothing!! [D: Old Man] Now what could I possibly want with a-
[Arin laughing] [D: Old Man] With a barely clothed… child- man
[A: Old Man] -supple, young man [Danny] *laughs* Yeah
[Arin laughing] [D: Old Man] With your milky
hamstrings and creamy thighs
[A: Old Man] Mmm [A: Old Man] Well there’s nobody around here [A: Old Man] Let’s see now… [A: Old Man] How about I trade for a bit of treasure
that slumbers nearby? [D: Old Man] I’m talking about your penis [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] It will soon awake
[Danny] *laughs* Yeah [Both laughing] [Arin] “Your adventures will be detailed here” Ah, great
[D: Old Man] I’ll show you MY Adventure Log [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] Come. Let me show you something.
[Danny] Oh god [Arin] What should happen-
This would be reverse order, right? [Danny] The Old Man is HUGE [Arin] Oh yeah, he’s a giant old man
[Danny] I don’t remember him being that huge [Danny] When he was like ‘It’s dangerous to go alone!’ [Arin] No, that’s a different old man
[Danny] Oh okay [Arin] This guy doesn’t have like the wizard’s sleeve- [Arin] What the fuck is going on here? [Danny] Oh, this is a different Link
[Arin] Oh, look at all these arrows! [Arin] ♫ I got some fucking arrows ♫
[Danny] But the Ganon is the same, right? [Arin] Uh…
[Danny] He’s always like… [Arin] No
[Danny] No, Ganon’s not immortal? [Arin] No…
[Danny] Okay, cool
[Arin] I don’t know [Arin] He- Fucking, I don’t know
[Danny] I don’t know either
[Arin] The plot in Zelda’s dumb [Danny] Wow…
[Arin] Nobody cares
[Danny] Come right out and say it [Arin] Well, there’s people that care but I don’t care [Danny] Of course people care!
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Well, it’s just ’cause th-
[Danny] There’s like this 500-page book
based on the history of Zelda [Arin] Well, it doesn’t matter until they started like-
They were like ‘Oh, well’ [Arin] In Wind Waker, they were like
‘Well, guess what? They’re all Link’ [Arin] And it’s like ‘What? That’s- Okay…’ [Arin] And then it’s like ‘Well, what’s Link?’ [Arin] And it’s like ‘Well, I mean…
We just made that up now, so…’ [Danny] Is Link, Link?
[Arin] Link- Link is Link to the Link- [Arin] Wait-Wait-Wait-Wait. What did I say I have to do? [Arin] I had to get a treasure [Danny] Yeah, he said ‘Come follow me’ I thought
[Arin] Oh [Danny] But he didn- Then he didn’t move [Arin] He’s right there
[Danny] *gasp* [A: Old Man] Oh ho ho!
[D: Link] Old Man, paraglide down! [Arin] Hey, what’s up?
[D: Old Man] Aren’t you a bit chilly? [A: Old Man] Do you see that structure there?
The one shining with a strange light? [Arin] Uh, there’s a couple
[Danny] Yeah, maybe get out of the way [Arin] Look at that one [A: Old Man] It began glowing at the exact same moment
those towers rose up from the ground [D: Old Man] Rise up, dawg [A: Old Man] It’s like- *laughs* [A: Old Man] It’s like nipples getting extra red
and sensitive when the boner happens [A: Old Man] Anyway, I- I would think such a place
might house some sort of treasure, wouldn’t you? [A: Old Man] Treasure for the paraglider.
A fair exchange, I believe. [Danny] Cool [Arin] Pile- Pile of dog shit
[Danny] Give me the paraglider [Danny] I’ll go there right now
[Arin] *laughing* Yeah [Arin] *laughing* And just sail away
[Both laughing] [Danny] Wheeee!
[A: Old Man] I believe I’ve been doped (duped) [Arin] Uh… Okay. I just go this way, I guess. [D: Old Man] I’ll catch him with my paragli- Oh, damn it [Both laughing]
[A: Old Man] It’s not fast enough [Arin] Just going to the fucking glowy shit
I don’t care, I don’t give a shit [Arin] I’m Zelda- I mean, I’m Link!
I’m not- I’m not Zelda. I’m Link. [Arin *whisper*] What if I was Zelda?
[Danny laughs] [Danny] I mean, some-
[Arin *whisper*] What if that was the twist! [Danny] We’d be playing Wand of Gamelon [Arin] Uh, yeah-
[Danny] I’m still not fully over the fact that Sheik is Zelda [Arin] Oh, yeah. There you go. [Danny] I-I’m- I’m still slowly recovering
from that realization [Arin] Sorry, bro
[Danny] No, it’s okay. It was amazing [Arin] Good stuff [Arin] Oh, man (Oman)
[Together] Aww Shrine (Au Shrine) [Both laughing] [Arin] Sweet, dude [Arin] “Sheikah Slate confirmed” [Arin] Sweet iPhone, bro
[Danny] Yeah [Danny *kid voice*] Thanks, it’s the 7
[Arin chuckling] [Danny *kid*] Golly!
[Arin *manly voice*] I’ve got the 7s [Danny *kid*] That’s not even out yet!
[Arin *kid*] Yeah! [Danny *kid*] Quit showing off [Both *Robot*] Access granted [Danny] Boy, this is the weirdest like ancient
computer system that I’ve ever seen [Arin] Yeah… Well, it’s a hundred years in the future [Danny] Ohh
[Arin] Yeah, you see? [Arin] 100 years ago, Ganon swept the-
the nation, or whatever [Danny] Yeah [Arin] I love ancient technology. That shit’s cool.
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] *gasp*
[Arin] It’s not all clean. It’s all organic…and glowy [Danny] Yeah, goo- the glowy is
the most important thing to me [Danny] There’s no-
[Arin] You gotta get the glowy
[Danny] You gotta get the glowy, bro [Arin] It’s always gotta be glowy blue, too.
Any other color is just not future enough. [Danny] Could not agree more [Arin] Also, can I just say [Arin] I’m playing- I’m playing uh…
using the joy-cons but not with the connector [Arin] I just have both joy-cons in both hands
[Danny] Is that good? [Arin] And I’m just kinda- Just lounging
[Danny] Yeah, you’re chilling [A: Oman Au] To you who sets foot in this shrine…
[A&D: Oman Au] I am ‘Oh, man. Aww’ [Danny laughing] [Danny] The Magnesis Trial [Arin] Um… [Arin] You got it [Arin] Oh shit [Arin] Fuckin’ Sheikah Slate, bitch! [Arin] ♫ Give me that shit ♫
♫ Give me that shit ♫ [D: Link] Awh, thumbprint identification required? [A: Link] You just burned my iPhone, dude!
[Danny] Yeah *laughs* [Arin] Distilling rune? [Arin] Oh God [Arin] *Blows a raspberry*
[Danny] Mm, let’s just drip this [Danny] hot, nasty technology into here
[Arin] Yeah *Drip noise* [A: Link] Awh, it smells like cat pee!
[Danny laughing] [D: Link] Why?!
[A: Link] Ah! It got all over me!
[Danny laughing] [A: Link] God! Man, I’m gonna smell like cat pee all day! [D: Link] Cat pee does not come out
[A: Link] Ah, jeez [Arin] That’s right. I got magnesis, bro.
[Danny] Ooo, way to go [Arin] “Grab on to metallic objects
using the magn- magne-” [Danny] “-Magnetic energy that pours forth from the-” [Arin] I’m just gonna go ahead and…
[Danny] Figure that out later? [Arin] No, I got it
[Danny] Oh, okay [Arin] I gotta use it right away
[Danny] Cool [Arin] “Use the selected rune” [Arin] So I got the rune now [Arin] So check this. Watch this, watch this.
[Danny] Okay [Arin] This is cool, right? Watch this. [Arin] Now I’ve got my rune [Arin] Oh, I gotta turn motion controls off [Arin] And… woooOOOooo
[Danny] Maaaaann…. That’s awesome! [Arin] Yeah, man! I can do- Fuckin’-
I can move bricks around and shit [Danny] Aw, it gave- it even gave you like [Danny] ♫ Doodede doodede doo~ ♫
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Well, it’s also using the music from uh… [Arin] Link’s Awakening [Danny] Like thi-
[Arin] Like a- Like a very subtle… [Arin] So, in Link’s Awakening… um, the GameBoy one
[Danny] Mhm [Arin] You’d walk into a room- If you had the compass, [Arin] When you’d walk into a room, it’d make a little
♫ do do DO DO PEP ♫ [Arin] Sound when there was like
a key you could find in there [Danny] Oh
[Arin] Um, hold on a sec. I just… [Arin] Uh…
[Danny] Whoa [Arin] And they- They worked it into this song [Danny] That’s really cool [Danny] How long have they been
working on this game? [Arin] Um, I don’t know [Danny] When was Skyward Sword? [Arin] Skyward Sword was… I don’t know either.
They were working on that game for like five years. [Danny] No shit
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] ‘Cuz I wanna say, I feel like that was
like 2012 or something like that [Arin] Yeah… [Danny] So, they- They have been at this for a long time [Arin] I don’t even know if they knew like the Switch was-
What the Switch was… [Danny] Right
[Arin] When they started development on this [D: Machine *quiet*] Urgh
[Arin] They uh… It’s on the Wii U, as well [Danny] Ooo, look, found some stuff [Arin] Which I think was a horrible idea
[Danny] An Ancient Screw [Danny] Outstanding *Arin laughs*
You- You think- You think… Wii U is horrible? [Arin] Uuuuhh… No-no-no, I- [Arin] I think it was a horrible idea
to release this on the Wii U [Danny] Ooh
[Arin] ‘Cuz it’s sort of like… [Arin] This is the reason to get the Switch [Danny] Yes
[Arin] And uh… [Danny] Oh, they did- They did release it on Wii U?
[Arin] Yeah… Well, they- Yeah [Arin] Um… So… [Arin] It’s like why… Why would I get a Wii- A Switch now,
if I can just… play it on the Wii U [Danny] Is the quality of this much better?
[Arin] I’m sure there’s… differences [Danny] Yeah
[Arin] Twilight Princess was like better on the Wii [Arin] How do I turn it over?
[Danny] *Hymn chant* [Arin] What? How’s this- Oh, look at that [Arin] Um… And…
[Danny] Can you turn it? [Danny] Whoooaa [Arin] That’s some physics shit right there
[Danny] Yeah, it certainly is [Arin] What else do we got?
Ooo, I’m gonna get that [Arin] I’m gonna- Oh, shit [Danny *cheeky copying*] I’m gonna get it
I’m gonna gy-et it [Arin] I want that. I want this. [Danny *cheeky*] I wan’ it *laughs*
[Arin] I want it [Arin] Give it!
[Danny *cheeky*] It’s pink, I’m gon’ make it yellow [Danny *cheeky*] And brings it to me-
[Arin] Give it! Giiive it! Giiiive iiit! [Danny *copies tone*] Staaaa-cy
[Arin] Wheeeeeeee!
[Danny] Staaaa-cy [Arin blows a raspberry] [Arin] What the fuck? [Both laughing] [Arin] *laughs* It hurt my foot [D: Link] Ah, shit
[Arin] A Traveler’s Bow! [Danny] Oh nice!
[Arin] That’s right [Arin] I thought I already had that though… [Arin] Maybe I didn’t
[Danny] “A small bow used for protection” [Danny] Or killing
[Arin] Or- Or destroying people’s lives
[Danny] Yeah, I mean… [Danny] Dude, my choice what I- what I want to do [Arin] Ooh, I can…
[Danny] With projectile weapons [Arin] I can open this [Arin] Hells yeah, look at that!
[Danny] Nicely done [Arin] No- Don’t- Don’t-
[Danny] Heuuug- Oh, Okay [Arin] *Phew* Boy, that was close [Arin] What’s up, girl?
[D: Oman Au] Uh, hey!
[Arin] Oh God! [D: Oman Au] Ehhh, you’re too close, ugh [Arin] You okay in there?
[Danny] Hey babe [Arin] You cold? [D: Link] Can I touch your eye drip? [D: Link] Ew
[Arin laughs] [A: Link] Uggghh! Now my hand smells like cat pee!
[Danny] Whoooaaa! [Danny] Cat pee everywhere [A: Oman Au *Wise voice*] You have proven to possess- [A: Oman Au *Shrill*] You have proven
to possess the resolve of a true hero [A: Oman Au] I am-
[Danny] OH, MAN, AW [Danny] You HAVE to say it like that [A: Oman Au] I am ‘Oh, man, awww!’
The creator of this trial [Danny] Looks like a gremlin [A: Oman Au] I am a humble monk,
blessed with the sight of Goddess Hylia [A: Oman Au] And dedicated to helping
those who seek to defeat Ganon [Danny] ♫ I’m a humble monk ♫
♫ And a humbling monk ♫ -Wait, no [Danny] ♫ And a mumbling hunk ♫
That’s what I meant to say [A: Oman Au] With your arrival, my duty is fulfilled [A: Oman Au] My name- [A: Oman Au] In the name of Goddess Hylia,
allow me to bestow this gift upon you… [Arin] I just got shit, man
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] You’re just throwing shit at me, left and right [A: Oman Au] Please accept this Spirit Orb
[Arin] Oh, it doesn’t mean anything [Arin] It’s not a cool item I can use
[Danny] Oh, okay [Arin] Maybe it is, I don’t know [A: Oman Au] *intense vomit sound*
[Arin laughs] [A: Oman Au] Don’t touch it. Don’t touch it!
[Danny] Yea- [A: Oman Au] Oh no! Now you’ve got gonorrhea
[D: Link] Ohh God! That smells worse than cat pee [Arin laughing] [Danny] *sniffs* Ugh, I feel it in
my heart how bad that smells
[Arin] Jesus [Arin] “A symbol of courage given to those
who have overcome the challenge of a shrine” [Danny] Oh
[Arin] Oh, so it’s just a fucking… [Arin] …bragging right
[Danny] It’s a ‘You did it!’ [A: Oman Au] May the Goddess smile upon you
Wheee~dabadie~daba [Danny] Thank you
[A: Oman Au] Goodbye! [Danny] Whe- Whe- When you said
the first things, were you like [Danny] ‘I don’t think I gave that character
an annoying, grating voice enough’ *laughs* [Arin] Mm
[Danny] Like, it has to be more… [Arin *overly shrill and annoying*] Hellooo!
My name’s Oh, man, awww!
[Danny laughing] [A: Oman Au] Oman-Au-Oman-Au-Oman-Au-Oman-Au [A: Oman Au] I’m ‘onna suck your dick [Danny] I like this loading screen
I don’t know what it is about it [Arin] It’s just very simple
[Danny] Yeah, it’s like… [Danny] I don’t know. It doesn’t- It doesn’t make you
feel stupid for sitting there and waiting for it to load
(Old man in background: Oho!) [Arin] Oh, it’s my boi? Where’s my boi at? [Danny laughs]
[D: Old Man] WHAT’S UP- …BITCH! [Danny] I almost dropped the N-bomb. I am so sorry.
[Arin laughing] [Danny] I- Wow… I don’t even know where it came from!
[Arin dying from laughter] [Danny] Ugh!
[Arin laughing] [Danny] God, that was scary [Arin] Mhm
[Danny] Okay [Arin] Uh, you would’ve smashed on the ground.
I would’ve liked that. [Danny] My career would’ve smashed
on the ground if I said that [Arin laughs]
[A: Link] Paraglider, please? [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] I encourage you to slow down
for a moment, my courageous friend [A: Old Man] The appearance of those towers
and the awakening of this shrine… [A: Old Man] Pretty arousing, right? [D: Old Man] It’s all connected to that
HOT pair of nuts you got there [Arin laughing] [A: Link] Paraglider, please?
[Both laughing] [A: Old Man] It has been quite some time
since I have seen that Sheikah Slate… [A: Old Man] And- Mmh! What a Sheikah Slate it is [D: Link] All- All this time you spend talking is [D: Link] Time you could spend giving me that paraglider
[Arin] Mhmm, that’d be great [A: Old Man] The great power of their wisdom
saved the kingdom time and time again [A: Old Man] But their ancient technology
disappeared long ago… Or so it is said [A: Old Man] It is interesting, however, to think- [D: Link] Uuuuggghh!!
[Both laughing] [D: Old Man] It reminds of this passage
from the ancient scroll- [D: Link] UUUUUGGGHH [A: Link] I could be paragliding right now
[Danny] Ye- Yeah, I could actually… Yeah! [D: Link] I could be on the- the fucking
Zelda equivalent of a jet ski [Arin laughing] [D: Link] But, still I’m talking to you…
With my hair drifting carelessly in the wind [A: Old Man] …How something like that has
survived all this time, hidden away in a shrine [Danny] There is always a light breeze [Arin] Oh yeah
[Danny] Running across this place [Danny *sensuous*] Is that the ‘Breath of the Wild’? [Danny *whispering*] Oh my God…
Breath of the wild [A: Old Man] These shrines are tucked away
in numerous places all across the land [A: Old Man] On this plateau alone,
I believe there are still three more [A: Old Man] Bring me the treasure from each of
those shrines… and I will give you my paraglider [Arin] Awhh…
[Danny] Yeah [A: Old Man] I said “treasure”, but I never said
there would be only one treasure [Arin] Oh, fuck you
[D: Old Man] Ha ha ha- *slurps* Ooh, mashed potatoes [Both laughing] [Arin] Yeah, it sounds like what-
[Both laughing] [Arin] It’s- You finally get it, you’re like
‘I got all the treasures!’ [Arin] And he’s like
‘Here are a pair of gliders… Ha ha ha ha ha ha’ [A: Old Man] I never said it was the paraglider that I use [Arin] He’s like
[A: Link] You son of a bitch… [Danny] He gives you two little balsa wood gliders
[Arin laughs] [A: Old Man] Whether it’s one treasure or four… [A: Old Man] What’s the difference for
a young go-getter like yourself
[D: Old Man] Do you like the sexy Aaliyah look? [D: Old Man] The one eye covered up thing I’m doing [D: Old Man] It’s hot [A: Old Man] Since I’m feeling generous, I will also
teach you a trick for finding shrines [A: Old Man] Look off in the distance and
if it looks like a shrine, go towards it [A: Old Man] BE GONE!
[D: Old Man] You’re welcome! [A: Old Man] It’s always- It’s always best to survey
the area by looking around from a high point [A: Old Man] Let’s see here… [A: Old Man *mumble*] How about you make
your way to the top of that tower again? [Arin] I don’t know
[D: Link] Are you joking? [A&D: Old Man] Oho ho!
[A: Old Man] I am afraid not [A: Old Man] But do not worry! I have another
little trick to share with you for you- for your effort [A: Old Man] Get on your knees
[Danny laughs] [A: Old Man] Take a look at
the map on your Sheikah Slate [Danny] God, what a waste-
[A: Old Man *spacey*] Look at all the names [A: Old Man] Hopper Pond…
[D: Old Man] See those blue ic- *laughs* [D: Old Man] River of the Dead,
You’re gonna LOVE that one [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] Could you- *laughs*
Could you pick something up from the back alleys of [A: Old Man] Eastern Abbey for me, please?
[D: Old Man] Can you get me a- [D: Old Man] Oh, my favorite TV show [A: Old Man] You can travel instantly to any
of those places with the Shiekah Slate [Danny] Oh! That’s cool [A: Old Man] Or so I heard quite some time ago… [A: Old Man *carefree*] I do not know if it actually works [D: Old Man] …As such [Arin breathes in forcefully]
[Arin *whisper*] I don’t want to go-
[Danny] I say, try it [Arin] What?
[Danny] Try traveling there instantly [Arin] Ah, I don’t want to fucking do that
[Danny] TRY IT! [Arin] How do I do it? [Arin] Oh, there we go
[Danny] We might need it later [Arin] Alright, uuuhh… [Arin] Let’s go to Eastern Abbey
[Danny] No no no, where the- Where- Yeah [Arin] The Shrine of Resurrection? [Danny] Yeah, I think so
[Arin] Is that where he wants me to go? [Arin] Oh, he wants me to go to the Plateau Tower to… [Arin] See it from the top [Danny] He-
[Arin] WHAT THE FUCK? [Danny] Oh, awesome
[Arin] What the fuck?! [D: Link] Oh, now I’m cat pee [Arin] He’s like
[A: Old Man] WHAT THE- WOW, MY GOD [Danny] Yeah
[D: Old Man] Shit… [A: Old Man] I’M SO SORRY [D: Old Man] No one told me
it would be ‘that way’ as such [Arin laughing] [A: Old Man] It is written…
[D: Old Man] Well [D: Old Man] I killed him [Danny laughing] [D: Old Man] Bring me another Link!
[Arin] *laughs* Yeah [A: Old Man] At least I don’t have to
give up my sweet paraglider
[Danny] Yeah [D: Old Man] What took you so long, bitch?
[Arin laughing] [Both laughing] [A: Old Man] It’s been 30 years
[Danny] Oh man [A: Old Man] I’m surprised it took you so long
to catch up with an old man like me! [A: Link] How did you…
[A: Old Man] Oho ho! Leave an old man his secrets [A: Old Man] Now then… [A: Old Man] I wanted you to join me up here
so you could use this- [Arin] I- I thought it said vaginal [Arin] For some reason, like I read the top line…
[Danny] Yeah, you could use this as
a vaginal point to search for shrines [A: Old Man] Hmm, Did you- *burps* Did you know
about the scope on your Sheikah Slate? [D: Old Man] You don’t get to be my age
without learning a few secrets [D: Old Man] Like teleporta- I- I- Uh
[Both laugh] [A: Old Man] Look through it, and you can stick a pin
anywhere you’d like to mark on the map [Danny] Aah
[Arin] Ah ha haa [Arin] “View distant things and mark them with pins” [A: Old Man] The pins on your map serve as
reference points for your travels [A: Link] How do YOU know? [D: Old Man] It’s like Pinterest
[Arin laughs] [D: Old Man] The- That… That website for girls [D: Old Man] It’s only for girls
[A: Old Man] Just like Four Square [D: Old Man] Do you use- Do you use it? [D: Old Man] Then you’re a big ol’ girl
[Both laughing] [Danny] Like he’s got really shitty, like
backwards-thinking, old man tendencies [Arin] *laughs* Yeah
[Danny laughs] [A: Old Man] Fine, go ahead and think you’re a girl
[D: Old Man] Nice spray tan by the way [Arin] Oh shit, look at that
I’m gonna pin it [Arin] Pin it to win it
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Look at that!
[Danny] ♫ PIN dededa ♫ [Arin] I wanna go THERE
[Danny] Whoa [Arin] I’m- I’m placing pins like…
[Danny] Yeah, you really want to go there [Arin] Nobody’s business
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] “Edit pins” [Arin] Uuh… I’m gonna edit those pins [D: Old Man] There’s too many goddamn pins! [A: Old Man] YOU GOT SO MANY PINS [D: Old Man] Fuckin’… [Arin] “Delete pin”
[D: Old Man] You used all your pins on one thing! [Arin] Delete pin… Delete pin
[D: Old Man] THE HELL’S WRONG WITH YOU? [A: Old Man] There you go. You only need one pin to win. [Arin] Alright, uhh…
[D: Old Man] Nice pinning, asshair [Arin] So… Am I trying to go to these- [Arin] Oh, I was trying to go to the orange things
[Danny] Right [Arin] Ok, then where…
[Danny] You can tell because YOU’VE turned orange [Arin] Um… I need to go there… [Arin] C’mon, fuckin’ motion controls [Arin] Alright, so there we go… [Arin] Uuuuhh, what else do we got?
Goin’ to that place, that’s a cool place [Arin] I’ll go there
[Danny] That looks pretty neat [Arin *mumbled copying*] That’s pretty neat.
That’s pretty neeat. [Danny *mumbled*] That’s pretty ne-ne
[Arin *mumbled*] Wow, everything’s nee-eat [Arin *mumbled*] Pretty neat [Danny] And uh… I think that’s it
[Arin *kid mumble*] So pretty [Danny] Where’ve we- *laughs*
[Danny *deep*] So pretty [Arin] Thought it was three, right? [Arin] He wanted three
[Danny] Think so? [Arin] Three out of four [Arin] Well I can’t go there. That’s way too far. [Arin] Plus one… *GASP* [Danny] You can fast travel, SON [Arin] Alright, and I’m gonna delete that one [Arin] Edit pin [Arin] Got- Yeah, I don’t want to go there. Fuck that. [Danny] Oh, the River of the Dead is far as fuck
[Arin] OH, JESUS [Arin] Oh- Oh no
[Danny] Oh ny-ooo [Arin] Oh no, this is a-
[Danny] Oh no
[Arin] This is a grand problem here [Danny] Get rid of the yellow one [Arin] I don’t wanna get rid of the yellow one
[Danny] If- If traveling this far- far is your problem [Arin] Um… Well, I’ll just do it then
[Danny] Yeah, just do it then [Arin] Just fucking get it over with [Arin] Alright
[Danny *quiet*] God, this is such a… [Arin *emotional*] Alright [Danny and Arin laughing] [D: Old Man] Stop that bitchin’ in the kitchen
[Danny laughing] [A: Old Man] Aren’t you a bit- [Both laughing] [Danny] Like, I think I’ve spent
enough time with this old man [Both laughing] [Danny] WHOOPS! Oh God [Arin] Before you start getting
horrible habits from this fucker [Danny] Yeah [Danny laughing] [A: Old Man] Make sure you don’t cross any paths
with Chinese people on the road [Danny] It’s like ‘Oh, come on…’
[Arin] God! Old Man… [Danny] Beh- Oh, I totally used, uh…
[Arin] That’s just disrespectful [Danny] I totally used your thing
from the Christmas game. Like… [Danny] My- My friend, Adrienne,
was getting hit on by this, uh, like… [Danny] 80-year-old man [Danny] And she was like ‘What do you-‘
Like she sent me a picture of it [Danny] And she was like ‘What do you
think his opening line was?’ [Danny] And I tol- I was like…
I bet it was something along the lines of [Danny *Old voice*] I don’t understand why the Chinese
can’t just use forks and spoons like the rest of us
[Arin laughing] [Danny *Old voice*] You look good tonight
[Arin laughing] [Both laughing] [Danny] Whoa! Look at that!
[Arin still laughing] [Arin *Old voice*] Why do they gotta make everything
difficult with sticks and shit? [Danny] Aw, I think you blew up the thing- Yeah
[Arin] Oh, that’s not good [Arin] Uh, Chuchu Jelly!
[Danny] Ooohh, those are Chuchus [Arin] “It’s unusable in this state”
but it smells like cat pee [Danny] *laughs* Yeah
[Arin laughing] [Danny] So you got that going for ya [Arin] Oh my god, Dan, this whole world
smells like fucking cat pee [Arin] You never really think about that, do you?
[Danny] No [Arin] Like what does Hyrule smell like?
It probably smells like cat pee [Danny] The Old Man’s like
[D: Old Man] I… My- Burned out my nostrils years ago [D: Old Man] To just deal with living here [D: Old Man] Now, I think it’s just you and me
[Arin laughing] [D: Old Man] And a bunch of Chuchus [Arin] Wait, where did it go? [Arin] Oh, it’s still up there [Arin] Wait, is it? [Arin] Wasn’t it like right here?
[Danny] No- No, it… [Danny] It looked close because… [Danny] Uh, it was far in the distance
but you’re- you’re far [Arin] Oh, shit [Arin] Where the fuck is it? [Danny] You’ve got a long way to go, son
[Arin] What the fuck? [Arin] What’ve I- How did I dick this? [Danny] Can you travel there instantaneously?
[Arin] No, no. Only places you’ve been. [Danny] Oohh
[Arin] Yeah, that’s how it works [Danny] Did you notice it put a little X where you died? [Arin] Wha- Oh, is that what that is?
[Danny] Yeah, I think so [Danny] ‘Cause it said RIP when you went over it
[Arin] Ooohhh [Arin] Well, time to make a new one [Danny] Speaking of RIP [Danny] Let me- Let me pour one out real fast for uh… [Danny] Bill Paxton, one of my favorite actors [Arin] Oh yeah, man
[Danny] Who died this morning
[Arin] What a shame [Danny] The only man… [Danny] To be killed in movies by
the Alien, the Predator, AND the Terminator [Danny] Like… That- That’s a fucking…
career that will never be topped [Arin] Wait, when was he killed in The Terminator?
[Danny] The- The very beginning [Danny] Like, the beginning of Terminator 1, he’s like o-
[Arin] Oh, he was one of the punks?! [Danny] Yeah, he’s one of the punks!
[Arin does the blond punk’s laugh] [Danny] He’s got like the blue hair and the spiky- [Danny] Whoops!
[Arin] Oops! [Danny] Oh, okay. You’re alright. [Arin] Yeah, no fall damage
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Oh, shit, I didn’t know that
[Danny] Yeah, isn’t- Isn’t that something? [Danny] He was- He died in Predator 2…also [Danny] For anyone who’s like ‘He wasn’t in Predator’
[Arin] Oh, the Gary Busey one? [Danny] Yes. I prefer to think of it as
the Danny Glover one, but yes [Arin laughing]
[Danny] Gary Busey was also there [Both laughing] [Arin] No, it’s definitely the Gary Busey one
[Danny] Oh man [Arin] Because it’s the lesser one [Arin] If it were the better one
then it would be the Danny Glover one [Danny] Oh, I got you, I got you
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Danny Glover just running around like
‘Gettin’ too old for this shit’ [Danny] I love him [Arin] Uh-oh!
[Danny] Whoa! [Danny] WhoOOoaa
[Arin] Oh, shit’s just happening [Danny] Friendly? [Arin] I fucking LOVE this
[Danny] I don’t know. This sounds not friendly. [Danny] Put that shield up, son
[Arin] Oh, Oh- Oh shit! [Arin] Um
[Danny] It’s lasering in on you [Arin] Whoooa!
[Danny] Whooa ho ho! [Arin] Yo…
[Danny] It’s one of those [Arin] Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! Oh god! [Arin] WHOOOAA! JESUS!
[Danny] Oooh yeah [Danny] Haha! Okay… [Danny] …You’re dead [Arin] Alright, well…
[Danny] Damn! [Arin] I’ll- I’ll take it, I guess [Danny] HOO! [Arin] “Continue from last save”
You got it [Danny] Where was the last save? [Arin] It autosaves everywhere
Whenever you do something major [Danny] Oh, okay
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] WELL, SHIT!
[Danny] Yeah, that was… [Danny] That was some hot nonsense
[Arin] I got straight up-fucked [Danny] Looked that way, didn’t it?
[Arin] Yep [Arin] So… Um…
[Danny] Hey, nice up-fuck [Arin] You think my shitty bokoblin shield
protected against it? [Danny] No [Danny] In fact, it looked like it burned
and flew apart like paper [Arin] That’s cool [Arin] I’m just gonna go ahead and avoid that [Arin] Not gonna deal with it [Danny] You should put some clothes on
[Arin] Why would I do that? [Danny] Because you keep getting killed with one shot [Arin] Uh-oh [Danny] Alright *laughs*
Oh, here we go again [Arin] I’m- I’m pretty sure this thing
just kills you in one shot regardless [Danny] I- How would you know that?
You’ve never put clothes on [Arin] Because, look at how strong it is! [Danny] You’re like the kid who won’t take
a shower in Wet Hot American Summer [Arin] Goddammit!
[Danny] Yep! [Arin] WELL, IT’S REALLY STRONG!!
[Danny] Arin [Arin] IT’S A FUCKING LIKE ANCIENT LASER!! [Danny] Take a shower [Both laughing] [Arin] I won’t take a shower
[Danny laughing] [Arin] I wanna fucking be naked [Danny] Oh my god… [Arin] I wanna feel the breath of the wild on my body [Danny] Yeah, the breath of the wild is burning you alive [Arin laughing] [Danny] It’s wild [Arin] Is that what this is all about? [Arin] It’s like technology versus nature [Arin] Is that the whole thing?
[Danny] Could be [Arin] I think that’s what this is all about [Arin] I gotta sneak around these motherfuckers
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] I think that’s- I think that’s the key [Danny] Whoa, Keese
[Arin] What up, bats [Arin] Oh yeah, dude
[Danny] Dude, you said ‘That’s the keys’ [Danny] As soon- As soon as the Keese showed up [Arin] Look at that
[Danny] Aww [Danny] You silly bitch
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Thank you
[Danny laughs] [Arin] I’m not gonna fucking find- Man! Awh!
[Danny] ♫ Doodedoodedoo ♫ [Danny] You- You got a hit on it, um…the other time
[Arin] Yeah, but it’s tough [Arin] Uh-oh, there’s one right here
Oh god! There’s one right here! [Danny] ‘Keese!’ [Arin] Uh-oh uh-oh uh-oh!
[Danny] What is that purple wavelength? [Arin] Uuuhh… [Arin] Silent hill? I don’t know
[Danny] I don’t know either [Danny] We should look that up
[Arin] I don’t feel like it [Arin] The games not even out yet!
How would I look it up? [Danny] I don’t know [Danny] You’ve got a fuel gauge… *laughs* This is weird [Danny] Oh, that’s your temperature
Okay, Fahrenheit, I guess [Arin] La Baij~ [Danny] Ya, Baij
[Arin *Jamican*] Ya Baij, mon [Arin *Jam*] Come on
[Danny *Jam*] Ya Bij (Bitch) [Arin] Whoa, dude [Arin] Fuckin’ skeleton-bokobos
[Danny] Whoa [Arin] Uh-oh uh-oh
[Danny] Not dead yet [Arin] Yeah! Get ‘im, son [Arin] Look at all this shit they dropped.
I can use his hand! [Danny] Oh, sweet
[Arin] I CAN USE HIS HAND!! [Danny] And his fang
[Arin] I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna do it! [Arin] I can’t carry any more melee weapons? [Arin] But I want more hands
[Danny] Yeah *laughs* [Danny] I wanna collect the hey-nds! [Arin] Oh, look! It’s a really good weapon too
[Danny] You can’t- Yeah, dude [Danny] You can carry more shit
if you had fucking pockets [Arin] Haha! Look it! *laughing*
[Danny] Euu… [Arin laughing]
[Danny] That’s gross. Why is it still grabby? [Arin] Uh- Oh, I gotta grab some more
‘cuz that’s way stronger [Arin] Uh- Fuck some- Fuck this shit
[Danny] Yuech! [Arin] Drop this… Drop that… [Arin] I want some fucking hands, dude [Arin] Got a Traveler’s Sword?! Man…
[Danny] This is nice [Arin] Everything’s coming up daisies, man
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] Except for the traveler who clearly DIED
while traveling with that [Arin] Maybe that’s my fate [Arin] I’m to die and then leave my shit around [Arin] And then it’s just like ‘Traveler’s Skeleton Hand’
[Danny] ‘Mm, excellent’ [Arin] It’s trying to grab my booty, dude! Look at it
[Both laugh] [Arin] He’s like ‘I wanna get a piece of that’
[Danny] Like- [A: SkellyHand] Thick thighs save lives [Both laughing] [D: SkellyHand] If I’m gonna be dead,
you better believe I’m going for some ass [Arin laughing] [A: SkellyHand] I’m gonna get some ass ass-ction [Danny] Skate fast, Eat ass
That’s the Zelda way [Both laughing] [Arin] Oh man [Arin] I like doing shows with you [Danny] M- Oh, that’s nice!
[Arin laughing] [Danny] Sort of locked in at this point
[Arin] That’s true [Danny] So I’m glad you feel that way
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] No, it took me- Took me almost 4 years, you know
[Danny] Yeah yeah [Danny] It’s been a while
[Arin] At this- At this point, I’m like ‘Oh yeah, I’ll do it’ [Arin] Do I get shit in every temple? [D: Ja Baij] To you who sets foot in this shrine…
I am YA BIJ [D: Ja Baij] In the name of the Goddess Hylia,
I offer this trial [A: Ja Baij *Jamaican*] I offer this trial [A&D: Ja Baij *Jam*] IT’S THE BOMB TRIAL! [Danny *Jam*] Oo! Ooo!
[Arin *Jam*] IT’S THE BOMB! [Danny *Jam*] Ya bitch!
[Arin *Jam*] This the part where we bomb it! [Danny laughing] [Arin] “Sheikah Slate authenticated.
Distilling rune…” [Arin] How about a little drop of cat piss?
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] You’re gonna love it
[Arin laughs] [Danny] Hnnnggh- [Danny] *sigh of relief*
[Arin] *fart noise* [Arin] *sigh* Just got the cat piss smell off [Danny] Yeah. Wow, that’s everywhere now [Danny] Thank you
[Arin] Jesus [Arin] What’s that- Whoa… [Arin] Bomb and Remote Bomb [Arin] Holy shit [Arin] Gave me two things at once
This game doesn’t fuck around [Danny] Yeah, no. This game-
This game’s pretty cool about like… [Danny] Getting you engaged very quickly
[Arin] Yeah, pretty generous about- [Arin] All this kind of shit that I get
Like wha… [Danny] What’s the blue thing in the corner? [Danny] Hu-uh!
[Arin] And throw [Danny] BEHOLD! [Arin] Check that shit
[Danny] That do anything for ya? [Arin] Oh! Oh-
[Danny] It’s a beach ball [Arin] Oh, it did
[Danny] Nope! It’s a bomb [Danny] Excellent [Arin] He’s got a long grabby hand [Arin laughing gleefully]
[Danny laughs] [D: SkellyHand] I’ll just tic-tac on the floor [Arin laughing gleefully] [Arin] If I had really long, like wizard’s sleeves [Arin] It would look like I just have a super long arm
[Danny] Yes it would [Danny] But that would require clothes
which we are… [Danny] …clear on, that you are not down with [Arin] I hate clothes
[Danny] Whoa! [Arin] They’re remote bombs [Danny] That’s awesome [Danny] So you determine when they explode?
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Very cool
[Arin] That’s me [Arin] Traveler’s Claymore! [Arin] Holy fuck, dude!
[Danny] Look at you [Arin] That’s awesom- Oh no. Uh uh! Uh uh! [Danny] Nu-uh!
[Arin] I’m dropping something to get- Fuck the torch [Danny] No, you might need the torch
[Arin] Well, I can use the Bokobo Club [Danny] Oh okay [Arin] Don’t need no fucking torch
[Danny] Alright [Arin] That old man can have his torch back [Arin] He can crawl in here and grab it
[Danny laughing] [Arin] From my cold, dead skeleton hand
[Danny laughing] [Danny laughing] [Arin] Whoo! [Danny] Nice [Arin] Where do I go next? [Arin] Up the ladder and through the woods [Arin] To Grandmother’s house we go
[Danny] Let’s do it [Arin] Uuumm, oh [Arin] Oh, I see [Arin] Throw this… [Arin] O-kay
[Danny] Oops *laughs* [Arin] Oh, cool
[Danny] Oh, it worked! [Arin] That still worked [Arin] Come here, my friend [Arin] Whoop! [Arin] Oh, you can jump in this game by the way
[Danny] Yeah, I noticed [Arin] That’s- That’s a new thing [Danny] You couldn’t jump in other Zeldas? [Danny] Yeah, I guess not
[Arin] No, it auto-jumped when you were on a ledge [Danny] Oh
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] But now you can just do it whenever you want [Danny] I love it
[Arin] Yay, I’m a jumpy- I’m a jumpy motherfucker [Danny] I guess they figured,
Well, you can jump in Smash [Danny] Might- Might as well give him… [Arin] He can jump in Zelda *laughs* [Danny] Yeah, that’s true [Arin] Well, he could jump uhh- in the GameBoy Zelda
if you got Roc’s feather [Danny] Oh, that’s riiiight
[Arin] He did like a jump flippy thing [Arin] Oh, look at this
[Danny] I haven’t played it but I remember seeing that [Danny] It’s a little bomb funnel?
[Arin] Yeah, I guess so [Arin] Did I roll it? Oh-
[Danny] Look at it go [Arin] And then it like… sorta loads it
[Danny] Stee-rike! [Arin] Loads it in
[Danny] Exploded [Arin] And… [Danny] Oh, very cool [Arin punctuated laughing] [Arin laughing maniacally] [Danny] There’s a song we write 5 minutes ago
[Arin] Heugh… [Danny] It’s called Master-Exploder
[Arin laughing] [Arin] I. Fucking. Love this. [Danny] This- This is great, right? Yeah?
[Arin] I’m totally- I’m totally enjoying [Danny] Yeah!
[Arin] Myself [Danny] You’re- You’re- You like a Zelda game again
[Arin] Yeah, I know [Arin] I know, right?
[Danny] Hurray [Arin] And it’s not a 2D Zelda game
[Danny] No [Arin] I can finally say… [Arin] Oh look at that… What’s going on here? [Arin] I can finally say I like a 3D Zelda [Danny] Oh, I’m happy for you
[Arin] I’m… I’m- I’m happy for myself [Danny] It’s only been 20 years
[Arin] I know *laughs* [Arin] First one came out, Ocarina of Time, what- Yeah [Danny] ’96… ’97? (1998)
[Arin] I don’t know [Arin] And then, what? [Arin] Wait wait-wait-wait
[Danny] Oh- Oh- Oh God [Arin] Come on [Arin] If I can… [Arin] Fuckin’- Just…put this right there [Arin] Oh, no, it doesn’t… [Arin] Doesn’t want me to-
Doesn’t want me to dick around [Danny] Ah shit
[Arin] With other stuff [Arin] Alright alright. I get it. [Arin] Wait, so… How does this one work? [Arin] Oh, it doesn’t roll [Arin] It just stays where you throw it
[Danny] Ooh! Oh okay [Arin] That’s cool
[Danny] That’s very cool! [Arin] U- Whoa! Alright
[Danny] Whoops! Well, alright [Danny] Apparently you’re not impervious to bombs [Arin] Mmm- My bad
[Danny] *laughs* Oohh [Arin] What the fuck does this-
What is this going on here? [Danny] What do you mean?
[Arin] With this thing [Arin] Is that a bomb? [Danny] Maybe it’s implying that you should
go in there and launch yourself [Danny] Could that be?
[Arin] Uuuhh… [Arin] Oh
[Danny] Try it! [Arin] Oh, no. There’s a- There’s a… [Arin] …ladder I can just go up
[Danny] Well alright then [Arin] Look at me [Arin] I’m flush [Arin] I’m flush with embarrassment [Arin] The hair is-
[Danny] I have to say, I like this silent… [Danny] Red thing a lot more than the
‘doo-doo doo-doo’ [Arin] Oh yeah
[Danny *relieved*] Ohh [Danny] So much nicer
[Arin] What’s up, baby? [Arin *deep*] Touch me *laughs*
[D: Ja Baij] I am Ya, Bitch [A: Ja Baij *elderly*] Your resourcefulness in-
[Arin] Oh [A: Ja Baij *shrill*] Your resourcefulness in overcoming
this trial speaks to the promise of a hero… [A: Ja Baij] *laughs*
[Danny] That is… your least popular voice [A: Ja Baij] In the-
[Arin] Oh yeah?
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] People HATE the Grubba voice
[Arin laughing] [Arin] And it’s so funny ’cause all those episodes
were recorded way in advance [Arin] Yeah
[Danny] So like, umm… [Danny] People were like
‘Oh God. I- I hope this doesn’t stay forever’ [Danny] And I’m like, Oh-hohoho!
[Arin laughing] [Danny] You’ve got at least 17 more episodes
of that action, babies [Arin] They only hate it ‘cuz you hate it [Danny] No, I think- I think they hate it ‘cuz they hate it
[Both laugh] [A: Ja Baij] May the Goddess smile upon you [Arin] I think it’s like the funniest voice ever [Danny] Do you like it?
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Well then I like it too
[Arin] It makes me laugh [Danny] If it makes you happy, then I’m glad- [Arin] Why would I do it if it was just annoying? [Danny] I di-
[Arin] I’m not an asshole [Danny] I don’t know! I’m so used to that with Brian [Arin laughing]
[Danny] Like it’s just… [Danny] That’s what gives him pleasure [Arin] Fine, I’ll come up with another voice
[Danny] …annoying the shit of people [Arin] I don’t want to annoy people… [Arin] …with my hilarious voice
[Danny laughing] [Danny] I don’t want to hilar- [Danny] -annoy people with
my hilarious skills and talents
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Oh, shit. Well, I accidentally…
[Danny] It’s getting- [Danny] It’s getting to be night time
[Arin] Yeah… [Arin] Well yeah, there’s like real time that goes by [Danny] Holy crap
[Arin] Yeah [Arin] Um… I- I missed that treasure chest
so I’m gonna go back down [Danny] Nice job
[Arin] I’m pretty sure that’s why uh… [Arin] It was showing me that I could launch myself [Danny] Ooohh
[Arin] Just launch myself right across [Arin] Mhm
[D: Ja Baij] Here’s the Spirit Orb for not doing anything [Arin laughs]
[D: Ja Baij] Good job [Arin] No, I fuc- used the bombs and…broke things
It’s cool [Danny] Oh, now you’ve got to use the bombs
to break the thing again [Arin] Boom! [Arin] Damn it
[Danny] Good. Fucking. Job. [Arin] I’m sorry!
[Danny laughing] [Danny] It’s just the same thing you did last time
[Danny laughing] [Arin] Well it’s hard [Danny] *laughing* It’s not hard [Danny] *laughing* Just don’t run at the explosion
[Arin laughing] [Both laughing] [Arin] You- You say it like it’s SO easy
[Danny] Yeah, yeah [Arin] But when I’m trying to get shit done…
[Danny] Yeah [Arin] Like- Like a goddamn uh… [Danny] Skillful- skillful Jesus [Arin] No *laughs* A skillful Jesus?
[Danny] Yeah, you never heard of skillful Jesus? [Arin] No, I was thinking more along the lines of
Larry the Cable Guy [Danny] Oh, yeah. Well-
[Arin] ‘Get ‘er done’
[Danny] Same- [Arin] *laughs* Same thing?
[Danny] Yeah [Danny] Jesus is- Jesus and Larry the Cable Guy…
[Arin] Skillful Jesus is Larry the Cable Guy [Danny] Are pretty close
[Arin] Yeah [Danny] Yeah, you gotta get-
you gotta launch yourself, bro [Arin] Hope it doesn’t take any damage [Danny] We’ll find out [D: Link] Huh!
[Arin] Wahoo! [Arin blows a raspberry]
[Danny] Nice [Arin] Alright, baby [Arin] Open it up! Amber? [Arin] “It’s been valued as a component in decorations
and crafting since ancient times” [Danny] It’s got a caramelesque sheen
[Arin] Mmm [Arin] Put it in your mouth, baby
[Danny] Mmm [Danny] Ta-
[Arin] Put it in you mouth [Danny] Oh, and that in there, they- they really did, like [Danny] It’s almost like they listened to you, you know.
They got rid of like the, [Danny] *musical tone of ‘dududu’ getting faster*
treasure [Arin] Ummm… Yeah, I guess so. They haven’t… [Arin] They haven’t added a big chest yet [Arin] I feel like these are small chests,
which they did adjust [Arin] So you just kick it, and open it, and you get it
[Danny] Oh okay [Arin] Um… But yeah, we’ll see if there’s like a big chest [Arin] Because, I guess you could call the Sheikah Slate
like a- like a treasure chest [Danny] Oh, I see
[Arin] And that’s like 4 times as long
[Danny] Yeah, that’s true [Danny] But I feel like that’s gonna be rare [Danny] ‘Cuz each time you’re getting something
like brand new that like… [Danny] You’ll just have that for the rest of the game.
You know what I mean? [Arin] But that’s what a big chest is [Danny *quietly*] Next time on Game Grumps
[Both laughing] [Arin] Yeah, I gotta pee so…
[Danny] Yeah, it’s been an hour [Danny] I forgot how long an hour really is
like when we’re doing this [Arin] Yeah
[Danny] I mean… Oh man [Danny] I have to pee and cry
[Arin laughs] [Arin] Well-
[Danny] Well, hey [Danny] It’s- We have begun a Zelda adventure
[Arin] Next time on Game Grumps [Arin] Wahoo!
[Danny] Um, get ready for, uh, your normally scheduled… [Danny] Uh, episode’s…uh, length tomorrow
[Arin] Okay [Danny] Um, and uh… Yay [Danny] You like this game,
I like this game, [Danny] I figured, ‘Fine, let’s do it’ [Arin *whisper*] Let’s just do it [Arin] ♫ When you~ ♫
♫ When you~ ♫ [Arin] ♫ When you~ ♫
[Danny] Play this

100 thoughts on “Breath of the Wild: Shirtless Hero – PART 1 – Game Grumps”

  1. About to enter my third time watching this series, and this episode always brings back nostalgic vibes as I remember purposely not watching this until I beat the game myself. I will never feel that same feeling again from the first time I walked out of the shrine of resurrection, realizing that for the first time in 6 years, it was finally time to jump into a new Zelda

  2. Looking through the comments I just have to ask, is no one upset he didn't learn how to quick equip weapons? It is literally one of the first things the game teaches you.

  3. Yeah you guys are the best choice of game players I was choosing people to watch and choose you guys because you have the best personalities

  4. watching this for me is just like "nOO u just missed a chest- ah fuck there was a korok seed in that tree- no that's not at all what the plot is about…YOU'RE MISSIN IMPORTANT DIALOGUE- yes guardians are fucked"

  5. people have spent around 582 years watching this hour-long episode, at ~5.1M views, assuming everyone watched the whole thing. Even assuming half those people didnt watch all the way through (but lets be honest here), at the very least, we can say for sure humanity has spent hundreds of years experiencing this content.

    Time well spent.

  6. After doing everything possible in my BoTW save (including master mode), time to watch their playthrough which will definitely be different than mine.

  7. Best game ever in my book, so magical playing it the first time. I loved walking around and bam wtf there’s a labyrinth or dragon or oh god a guardian. I swear that guardian music is the embodiment of fear, I love it!

  8. Sometimes I still go back to this game, but instead of actually playing any story content, I just kinda run around and do stuff.

  9. As someone who lives in a small town with like just a McDonalds and A&W, I am like genuinely surprised Dan doesn't know A&W is a fast food joint!

  10. I love that Arin died in the first 15 minutes, the average length of a Grump episode. It's like on a subconscious level he let himself die at that point in time to make a perfect ending to a top notch starting episode.

  11. It's been 2.5 years and this series is still my favorite gamegrumps series.

    Damn… I've gone through 2 or schools since this episode released

  12. What if the legend of Zelda’s plot was just jojo’s bizarre adventure
    I mean all the Ganon’s are like the dio’s and he links are the jojo’s

  13. I don't know who TenMoreMinutes are, but apparently they play games, and their ad is being shown on a GameGrumps video?? This is the first YouTube ad that made sense.

  14. Do you want to know of another British hero that was cryogenically frozen and then woken up to fight a villain from his past?
    Austin Powers

  15. 23:03 You can actually infinitely jump, but without the pausing AND you take no fall damage. Just use the infinite jump glitch. It's on YouTube, just look it up.

  16. 35:00 – This is how you are supposed to get the box. How I tried to do it was by stacking boxes and a door to make a ramp up to the ledge beside the box. After finally getting up there I quickly realized the door was not large enough to bridge the gap, and I definitely couldn't fly there. It took about 20 minutes, but I eventually figured out the correct solution.

  17. I work and go to school full time, so it took me until now to finish Breath of the Wild. I waited 2 years to watch this playthrough. 😀

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