Co-Host Cardi B Tells Jokes In Jimmy’s Monologue

Co-Host Cardi B Tells Jokes In Jimmy’s Monologue

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-Here they are,
Jimmy Fallon and Cardi B! [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ ♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ ♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ ♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ -That feels good, doesn’t it? Cardi B! -♪ Hey, hey hey, hey ♪ -Hey, thank you very much! Oh, my goodness! Thank you very much. Please, thank you! Please, thank you. Please. ♪♪ Oh, my goodness. Oh! -Whoo! [ Cheers and applause ] -Welcome. Welcome, welcome
to “The Tonight Show.” Cardi B is my co-host tonight. [ Cheers and applause ] When I said,
“Cardi, would you like to co-host ‘The Tonight Show?'” she said, “Oku-r-r-rt!” -Oku-r-r-rt!
-Yeah, all right. [ Laughter and applause ] It is so great
to have you here. I’m so excited to see you
that I might go into labor. I really —
[ Cheers and applause ] -I might go into labor, too.
I’m making history tonight. [ Cheers and applause ] You know what I’m saying? My album just dropped,
but I’m the first late-night co-host
that isn’t a white guy. What’s up?
-That’s — [ Cheers and applause ] -Interesting.
That’s correct. You are promoting your new album
“Invasion of Privacy,” or, as Facebook users
are calling it, “A Little Too Close to Home.” [ Laughter and applause ] -I don’t trust
that Mark Zuckerberg. [ Laughter ] -I really want to say
congrats, though. You just officially announced
that you are pregnant. So that is a — that is
a beautiful thing. [ Cheers and applause ] Beautiful thing. Backstage, Cardi was doing
some breathing exercises, and it sounded like
the bird section of a PetSmart. [ Laughter and applause ] -Br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br. br-br-br-br-br. -Br-br-br-br-br?
-Br-br-br-br. -Br-br-br-br.
Br-br-br-br. Actually, I heard
that President Trump is a big fan of yours, and he wanted
to send you a message. So now…
[ Laughter ] …here’s a special delivery
from the White House. Take a look at this.
-He goin’ kill me. [ Laughter ] ♪ I don’t dance now ♪ ♪ I make money move ♪ ♪ Say I don’t gotta dance,
I make money move ♪ ♪ If I see you,
and I don’t speak ♪ ♪ That means
I don’t [bleep] with you ♪ ♪ I’m a boss, you’re a worker ♪ ♪ [Bleep] I make bloody moves ♪ -Oh, fantastic.
[ Cheers and applause ] He didn’t have to do that.
He’s a fan. -He wanna get down
with the culture. [ Laughter ] -Now, I saw that a —
a picture of President Trump wearing his coat
went viral this weekend. ‘Cause it was a little —
it was a little tight on him. Look at this photo right here. See that? Yeah.
[ Laughter ] Yeah. Uh… Which means it’s time
for a new segment we call “What is Up With That Coat?” [ Cheers and applause ] -♪ What is up
with that coat, yeah ♪ -I’ll start it off.
Okay, here we go. What is up with that coat? -♪ Yeah ♪
[ Laughter and applause ] -What is up with that coat? -♪ Yeah ♪
[ Laughter and applause ] -What is up with that coat? -♪ Yeah ♪
[ Laughter and applause ] -What is up with that coat? -♪ Yeah ♪
[ Laughter and applause ] -You didn’t know
Spanx made jackets? What is up with that coat? Oh, my goodness!
-♪ Yeah ♪ Last one, Cardi. -What is up with that coat? -Now that’s
what I’m talking about. What is up with that coat? Finally, Cardi,
in honor of you becoming a mom, we wanted to do something fun. So we sent our writer Jo
down to the 30 Rock plaza to ask moms and their kids
what they know about Cardi B. But here’s the catch — -Moms don’t like me.
I curse too much. -No, they —
[ Laughter ] No, that’s not true. But here’s the catch —
we didn’t ask the kids. We asked only the moms. And you have not seen this yet,
but it’s good. And the kids —
[ Laughter ] The kids were not allowed
to even help. It’s time for “Mom Quiz.”
Check this out. -♪ Mom quiz, Mom, Mom Quiz ♪ ♪ Mom quiz ♪ -Finish this lyric — “I don’t gotta dance.
I make… -Romance?
[ Buzzer ] -I don’t gotta dance.
I make… -Music.
[ Buzzer ] -These expensive.
These is red bottoms. These is… -Hot bottom jeans.
[ Buzzer ] -Hot bottom jeans? Okay. What are red bottoms? -Underwear.
[ Buzzer ] -[ Laughs ] -In the song, “Bartier Cardi,”
what does Cardi B have all over her body? -Uh, candy.
[ Buzzer ] -Candy.
Candy. Some people call it candy. Fill in the blank —
Bodak… -Train track.
[ Buzzer ] -Bodak train track. Bodak… -Ho-Dak.
[ Buzzer ] -Bodak…
-Camera. [ Buzzer ]
-Bodak camera. Yes, the famous bodak camera. Cardi B’s debut album
is called “Invasion of…” what? You cannot get help.
“Invasion of…” -Aliens?
[ Buzzer ] -“Invasion of Aliens.”
[ Laughter ] Cardi B’s debut album
is called “Invasion of…” what? -Body snatchers.
[ Buzzer ] -What noise is Cardi B
known for making? -Uh, maybe she toots
like a horn, I don’t know. -What’s that sound like? -Uh, beep-beep.
[ Buzzer ] -Which famous rapper
is Cardi B engaged to? You cannot help —
You cannot help her. -Um, Drake?
[ Buzzer ] -Drake?
-Drake. -Eminem.
[ Buzzer ] -Um, I don’t know.
Jennifer Lopez? -Jennifer Lopez.
[ Laughter ] -Jay Z’s brother.
[ Buzzer ] Little Jay Z.
[ Buzzer ] -Cardi B was born in the…? -Bronx?
-Yes! Yeah, that was correct!
[ Cheers and applause ] -Oh, my God, I am so good.
-Yes, you are so good. -That’s what I’m talking about
right there. We have a great show tonight! Cardi B is here!
Give it up for The Roots! [ Cheers and applause ] After you. ♪♪ ♪♪ [ Cheers and applause ] -I was gonna say, uh… I was gonna say,
you could have this one, but that chair —
it’s up to you, yeah. -‘Cause, you know, I just
thought I was gonna, like, be the, like, special host.
Oh, special chair! -Yeah, special host, special —
You got the special chair, yeah. -Special chair.
Yeah, I’m pregnant. -Does this look right? No, you’re pregnant.
You can do whatever you want. Special chair for you.
Totally, you’re allowed. Yes, absolutely. I mean,
should I sit in this chair? Do we have —
Or maybe I’ll sit — Do we have another chair —
Do we have a chair back there? [ Laughter ]
That’s all right. I can kneel.
[ Laughter ] I can kneel down. I can just do it kneeling.
This is perfect. [ Laughter ] Yeah, this is good.
Do we have a chair? We have a chair?
Just anything. ♪♪ -Hey, everybody.
How you guys doing? [ Cheers and applause ] “My name is Jimmy Fallon,
and I’ll be joining us tonight.” -Yeah, well, here we go. [ Laughter ] Feels like the shortest stool
we have backstage.

100 thoughts on “Co-Host Cardi B Tells Jokes In Jimmy’s Monologue”

  1. Its hard to have good comedic timing when you're completely unintelligible. Thanks for the subtitles anyways.

  2. Yo can you put subtitles Bc this bitch talks like a fucking mexican who’s caught in between English and spanish

  3. OMG I LOVE YPU CARDI U SO SWEET AND KIND I AM U BIGGEST FAN I LOVE U VIDEO AND MUSIC IT MAKE ME WANNA DANCD LOVE U CARDI❤❤❤

  4. Queen Cardi be lookin good even though she must be tired af cause my nephew lives with me and he Kultures age and I’m so fuckin tired all day every day

  5. I have a question for Cardi B.

    I dont know much about you family.
    So, my question is:
    How happy is your mom to baby sit😊

  6. Jimmy Fallon is sooo bad at improv!!!! Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Like if it isn’t planned he just freezes the fuck up!!!

  7. Cardi is that good savage and hella loveable. We got to be honest the world needs someone like her to make them happy…♥♥♥
    Her expression when she heard about trump tho…

  8. I click it, I skip a bit to see them mocking trump which at this point is like beating a horse thats body is literally near the end of decay… I pause and they both have the dumbest faces at 2:51

    You two are clowns, and I mean that pejoratively.
    And isn't this Hoe wrapped up in some sort of murder controversy?

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