Voice: Open your eyes, wake up link. Wake up Link! [Zelda]
WAKE UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT!1!! [Link]
Okay! Gahh~ [Link]
That’s worst alarm clock ever [Link]
Wait who am I-
Where am I- She said link right?
named after a chain, excellent parenting. [Link]
Oh sweet. Is this the new iPhone 9? This is the iPhone 9s. Is Link really my name? let’s find out. [Link]
Siri, what’s my name? [Siri]
Your name? But you asked me to call you link,
Some prick who loves Goron cock. [Link]
Who’s been messing with my phone?
Goron cock, yeah good one. [Link]
Hey, Siri where the nearest pizza joint? [Siri]
Okay Here’s what I found- [Link]
Super Pizza Town,
one review one star not good, CLOSED? Well I guess pizza’s off the menu. *Grunts*
What are these [Link]
Ewwww How long have these been in here for? I’m so going to catch something from this *Opens Another Chest*
Oh, really? Ugh! Oh god I feel dirty… [Zelda]
Hold the iPhone 9 up to the pedestal! [Link]
Okay, where’s that coming from? Am I being watched right now? [Link]
Am I a lab experiment?
Zelda: your Google maps will show you the way. [Link]
What are you on about? [Zelda]
JUST PUT THE PHONE ON THE PEDESTAL! [Link]
-Aright! grouchy pants- [Zelda]
Link. You are the light, our light [Zelda]
As you shine upon Hyrule… *Cute cat noises*
hehehehe hehehehe PAY ATTENTION!! Ok, sorry. Just leave. Augh, do I really want to? *Splashes* it’s cold~ *sobs* [Link]
They get all wet, I don’t like it, I don’t like it. *Insert Link Grunting Noises here* *Dramatic Music Plays* [Link]
(Comments are Transcribed by Kyle Lee And Reviewed By OmgguyyoutubeRBLX) (Watch the fucking video you prick) Old Man: Hello. Link: Hi Old man: Did you enjoy the faces?
Link: If I say yes do I get food? Yes. Link: Oh then yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. [Old Man]
Nice. Ponytail hippie, huh? [Link]
Oh yeah, I didn’t even notice I had one.
Old Man: That’s what they all say Yeah but I’ve got Amnesia.
Old Man: Oh look at you with your fancy condition about a hundred years ago [Old Man]
Hyrule got fucked up by this big thing in the sky probably Ganon or something a big boss essentially, and over there was the temple of Scientology. Woah Woah, back up. So the last boss is over there.
Old Man:Yeah Link: like that thing right there Old Man: Yeah
Then what are you sitting in your ass for? Let’s go!
Old Man: Oh that’s not a good idea. I do oh oh- oh… No, you don’t want to go that way. [screams] Save me! Save me! Aaah I told you.
[continues screaming as he gets tortured by guardians]
What is this?! Never again. Never again ???: Give me your wallet! [Link]
Is this a stick up right now? No, this is a give me your wallet! I mean, I’ve got a branch
???: A branch? I don’t like eating branches I only eat wallets. [Link]
Sounds like a healthy diet, what even are you? I’m a B-bbb-bolbol-
Link: A what? Bbbolbkablin: [unintelligible] Bbbolbkablin: [unintelligible]
Link: Yeah Bbbolbkablin: [unintelligible]
Link: Uh huh So you’re a what now? [Kevin]
Look my name is Kevin okay? Now Kevin: I’m going to stab you and eat your face and pretend it was a wallet because I like eating wallets you see. Link: Yeah, Well I don’t think so because I-I Uhh… [Link]
EAT TREE BRANCH! [Swoshing sounds]
(#eattreebranch. let’s get this one trending) Link: Where’d it go? I’m gonna kill you [unintelligible] bokoblin style. Huh look it’s raining (JONTRON: SLAP IT ON WITH THE MIGHT OF ZEUS) *poof* Well that was pretty shocking. [Laughter] Link: Oh cool an axe! I wonder what I do with this Chuchu:Blauba Blaub
Link: Die! Die! Die! Ha Hah. I am a god. I’ll take this U-uugh [Disgusted Link Sounds] There we go. Just just stay away from me- and that’s exactly what happened.
I got down on my knees I said Jennifer, I love the balls out of you. Would you [unintelligible]-kkkkoblin marry me? Well what did she say? She said no.
Why? Apparently I’m already married so… [Bokoblin Laughter] Oh Billy, goblin humor *ded* You just killed my friend.
Link: Yeah, I mean look at him look at him Mmm. Look all I want is his food and I’ll be on my way. I need a pre-pizza snack~ You know how it is.
But we’re just like you. We’re just trying to survive! Daddy? Stay back inside son. What happened to Billy? I said get back inside! Well okay, this just got awkward We’re just trying to survive! Well you kinda put me on the spot now- [Bokoblin Tears] Y-you’re an asshole! Did you kiss your mother with that mouth
He was my mother!
(That’s fucked up. Also but he said friend eariler. dafuq) Okay I’ll just leave, I hate to be around I’m not a fan of it so enjoy your life. I guess. Thank you [Link]
Uh huh. Thank you
[Link gets shot by an arrow]
huh? YOU’RE A BAD MAN
(You shouldn’t have done that.) Go get him son (ded x2) [Link]
It’s the Circle of Life man, Circle of Life. *beep*
Ooh two likes already. Now according to Siri, the Pizza Joint should be here. Hello? I’d like to order a thin and crispy. I guess they’re busy *Tower gets activated* [Intense music plays] So do I get pizza now, or? Remember, try to remember, the fifth of December.
Link: Why the fifth?
Zelda: because that’s my birthday! Link: Oh, it is? Let me write that down in my diary.
Zelda: You aren’t actually putting that down, are you? Link: Nope. You have been asleep for the past hundred years Yes, but does that mean I’ve broken the record for the longest nap of all time let me google it real quick Stop! Just go kill this floaty thing.
Link: I already tried that and got bummed Well then stop being shit! Just climb down the tower and trigger a cutscene! Link: Well when you put it that way– [Link proceeds to be shit] OH DEAR- [RIP LINK 2017-2017] Link: OWW! Old man: It will appear that your iPhone 9 has uncovered the secrets of the secret towers of the secrets. Is there a secret for getting rid of this pain?
Eat this. [Link]
Ah there we go! [Old Man]
Now if you don’t mind me being nosy. [Old Man]
Now if you don’t mind me being nosy.
Link: I do mind Did anything happen on top of that tower? Well aside from no pizza falling down and breaking every bone in my body, I did hear a voice in my head- What are you psycho or something? Aren’t you supposed to be helping me? You’ve got to try to go the castle again. Link: No.
You’ve got to try to go the castle again. Well you’re on this plateau, We’re surrounded by cliffs, and if you jump off one you’ll die. Thanks for the obvious health and safety lesson Of course you might not die if you’ve got a paraglider like me. (Wow.) So you’re gonna give me it? No? Stupid question really wasn’t it. What do you want? Get on your knees What are you doing? I’m trying to get the paraglider Wha- NO!
I meant get down on your knees and pray to the temples to get the treasures ah Oh, I can see how that got a bit misconstrued.
That’s not what I intended I just wanted you to go to the shrine. Sorry, there you go.
Um, I’ll leave. We are so screwed Link: Brrrrrrubbbubb Let’s do this system update. Got these new cool emojis. Ooh it’s a spooky door! Aaaaah! To you who sets foot in this Shrine, I am [unintelligible] Yeah didn’t quite catch that. I am [unintelligible] Just do the fucking trial. Oh another update? The magnet app, huh? Wooo- Woooeeee OH SHIT
(RIP Link) Oh it’s one of these things again but tiny crazy space octopus thing. Who’s a good little octopus. I was going to adopt you and take you in but now Hi, yes, is this the animal shelter?
Yeah, I’ve got a rogue metallic octopus on the streets proper octopussy like okay, yeah, mhmm- Okay, cool.
Grab and bag him boys! Thank you officer. No problem. Have a great day. You too. It’s fine, I’ll just adopt you instead. Come on Sparkles That’s a nice door Yeeaugh! Haha, and I bet you thought I’d hit myself in the face didn’t you? [Suddenly, Pianos] *Pmmmh*
Hello did I just stumble into somebody’s funeral? Strange open casket?
You have proven to possess the resolve of a true Goon. I am [unintelligible] the creator of this trial uiehfeshfuhih: I can speak without my mouth moving and my eyes are always closed good thing I still maintain my good fashion sense though. Look at my glorious hair. What do you think? [Link]
It’s alright Now, take my orb thing. Hey! Wrong way. Oh, well alrighty. Well. I’ve got a doctor’s appointment to go to teleportation magic thing I can’t tell if I enjoyed that or not Aah! Can you stop doing that? [Old Man]
I see you’ve got a spirit orb. Paraglider. Now. All these shrines are connected to your iPhone 9. [Link]
Why is that? They brought back the headphone-jack, which created the towers. to receive telephone signals and support the Wi-fi (WLAN). You see an old tribe built these shrines, Apple, run by a legendary Apple, Steve jobs
(soo he’s an apple now?) Oh really– awesome, man~ [Link]
Now give me the paraglider you prick. I wanna mess with you some more Find me three more orbs so use your iphone to teleport up there. Well if it’s that easy, why don’t you just do it? Yeah? I was… I was… You’ve had a hundred years to do this right? I was making the paraglider and baking apples. I was a busy man. *Magic Teleportation thing* We meet again.
Let’s just find these goddamn shrines No. No. No… Double no Definite no [Link]
There we go. Wait-
Can you just not- Why is this happening? There we go definitely not again, and there we go. Well just be careful on your way to… Ahhhhhhhh! *fades* so screwed (Death #3: Barrel) (Death #3: Barrel and Piano too?) [Epic montage] [Kenaut Murt Shrine]
(Death #4: Death by epic failing a jump
then crushed by a piano) [Ree Dahee Shrine]
(Wait a second. This isn’t even in the great plateau) (Death #5: Death by Piano yet again) *gasps* I’m dying, I’m dying… *gasps* Did you bring the orbs? Yeah hold on [Link very disturbingly poops out Spirit Orbs] There we go.
Old Man: You could just put them over there. Well a deal’s a deal so here you go.
Finally! Now go to the temple of Scientology. I’ll meet you there bye! He had two this whole time!? Why me? I Just wanted piz- I just wanted some plain pepsi n’ pizza~ Oh you’ve made it, Yeah- so as you might have guessed I’m not actually an old man Wait, you’re not?
Nope. I’m a dead old man. What’s the difference? Wait you lied to me?
Huh? I thought you were an old man, but really you’re a dead old man. You lied to me! Yeah but I’m the king and… Don’t care what you are, you lied to me, but you’ve got to go defeat Ganon or else he’ll destroy the world I don’t, I don’t care. But the world is in turmoil- [Link]
Well my trust issues are in turmoil! I’m going back to bed. *Ganon Screams* But I said Ganon’s attacking! *yawns* Hmm. I’m Gonna Sleep like a baby tonight. Wake up Link. [Link]
Good night world. Hey guys Thank you’re checking out this week’s Zelda cartoon This one was animated by Alexander Ivatin and Written by Dexter Manning make sure you leave a like and subscribe if you haven’t already and we’ll see you guys next week. Thanks