Off Days: Workplace Injury

Off Days: Workplace Injury

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This is a HeadGum Video. Yeah, I mean if paid lunches are gonna be
a thing, that’s – that’s fine. We can pay for your lunches, it just, keep
the receipts for now, ’cause we don’t have the funds at the moment – Yeah, and we’re
hemorrhaging money, it’s fine – Yeah – Just not everybody’s pulling their weight around
here. Thoughts about my new jants? Jean pants? They don’t seem quite different. They actually look like the same pair you
usually wear. Yeah, I mean they’re fine. They’re good. One second. Excuse me. What is that? You injured my feelings. Hurt ’em outright. How many of these injuries are just the emotional
kind? To answer your first question – I only asked
one – Because it was necessary. Hm. Second question, no. You didn’t answer my one question once and
you had two attempts. I’m tired of you guys razzing me. Okay? Yesterday you called me a thin man’s Eugene
Levy. That’s right. Still an insult. You also tossed sharp jacks in front of my
tires as I pulled in this morning. Woo! And than? And than all of his tires popped? And than? And than he had to replace the tires? Cost him $700. That’s a full month’s rent down the hole. I didn’t realize and dan that is what happened. I didn’t know it would affect you so long
term. And than. And than it did. And than it did. And dat’s on me. So you can dish it out – Oh yeah! Hiya! Hiya! Sorry, you didn’t let me finish. It’s not a compliment. You can dish it out, but you can’t take it. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Like I can’t “take it?” Yeah. That sucks to hear comin’ from both of you. So if it was just one of us it’d be fine? Well it’s nice to have one person stand up
for your ass. That’s a terrible sentence. Can I stop you right there? ‘Cause you know I replay these conversations
in my head, right? – No – On my way home, or as I’m trying fitfully
to fall asleep? Yeah, it’s like a freaking horror movie. Every slight, every micro-aggression, every
gentle ribbing that you think is so friggin’ funny, well it actually really sucks for me. Thoughts? Apologies? Uh, I’m sad for you. Wow. With another insult! Hiya! That sucks to hear! The only thing keepin’ me going at this point
is this list of zingers I have ready to hurl your way if you ever insult me. That’s right, an iron dome so impenetrable
that no matter what you say, it won’t hurt my feelings ’cause I got something just as
bad, if not worse, comin’ right back at you. Your fingers are bleeding. Oh! Why’d you have to bring up my finger! I didn’t have anything at the ready for the
finger! I injured it on a jack! What am I supposed to do if he brings up my
finger and than?!

100 thoughts on “Off Days: Workplace Injury”

  1. Who else here thinks insecure/weird jake reflects the same personality you had when you were like 14 and you couldn't get any ass and you were playing mario kart all day?……nobody?……not me tho…..

  2. Catching them trying not to laugh between edits almost seemed like fun Easter eggs before. Now it's like they don't even try to hide it anymore.

  3. HOLY SHIT! Hysterically funny and so fucking close to home. I don't want to be Jake in this sketch… but I'm Jake in this sketch…

  4. This is perfect example of insecure Jake…. "Thoughts…apologies?" Also, he picked up Amir's list-making habits!

  5. love their content. I want more and more. be sure to listen to their podcast if I were you and leave a like and comment 👍

  6. It's been so long since the time of massively insecure Jake and man did I miss it, Not gonna lie I'm not as into Off Days or Geoffrey as I was J&A but this is definitely one that's winning me over. How can you not laugh at Jake immediately breaking down about his finger, not to mention the real thing that I feel like we all do of replaying conversations in our head where you always win…no just me….o..k

    ( <- My self made stand-up special, I hate piggy backing off much funnier people but I figure people that like the stuff I like would like the stuff I do, So if you've exhausted yourself on HeadGum check it out.

  7. Go back please to jake and amir series please. If c.h owns the rights to it just call it amir and jake or something.

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