PEDRO

PEDRO

Articles Blog


Honey, look at this.
It’s so… -This is so cute!
-My God! It’s so beautiful! -Pedro will look so cute!
-Who’s Pedro? -Pedro. Don’t you like it?
-Pedro? I don’t know.
I never considered it. I like it.
It’s simple and strong. Pedro! There’s a ring to it!
Where’s Pedro? -Pedro!
-Pedro! Peek-a-boo! I like it! I like Pedro! Pedro will be smart.
His friend will be Guilherme. -Cute.
-He’s cute. He knows he’s cute
and he’ll use that in his favor. He’ll be mommy and daddy’s
cute Pedro! We’ll squeeze him
the whole time! He’ll really be cute.
But here’s the thing. He’ll see we’re new as parents
and take advantage. Suddenly, he’s a pre-teen,
and we’ll lose him. We’ll get home
and see there’s less vodka. We’ll find it weird
and blame each other then we’ll blame Lupércia. She’ll say it wasn’t her,
but we’re suspicious, because we know
she’s a little… We’ll fire her
paying everything we owe and, the next week,
the there’s less vodka again. It can’t be Lupércia,
so I’ll ask Pedro about it. And he’ll say,
“Do you think I’m drinking? Don’t you trust me?” And I’ll ask him
to forgive me. Then Guilherme comes here
for the weekend with alcohol in his breath,
and we connect the dots. It’s early
to talk about drinking. -Who says it was Pedro?
-It was Guilherme. Guilherme is older than him. He’s smarter,
he picks up on things quicker. Pedro still plays
with toy cars. But my son will know
how to choose his friends. I never liked this Guilherme.
His aura is off. He’s weird, hairy
and his shit is big. I’ll talk to Pedro and say, “What’s going on, buddy?
Are you drinking, punk?” Punk? “You’re drinking at this age?
Are you crazy? An idiot?” Jesus, Cláudio, calm down! It’s because you’re calm
that Pedro started drinking, had a car accident
and almost died. I had to go after him
in the middle of the night. I haven’t told
my mother yet! She’s 95!
She was old when she had me! -You’re crazy, Cláudio.
-Crazy? What is this then? -Is this weed?
-That’s an illegal drug. A narcotic sold in places
where people are killed. You think he’s in his room
with the purple-haired girl doing sex stuff, but no. They’re using drugs.
That’s the word. Say no. I imagined using this,
but it’s silly. For the love of God, a gun!
Cláudio, for the love of God! This is nothing. I’ll just fire into the air, so Guilherme gets scared
and never comes back. I’ll shoot when he’s shitting,
so he’ll run with his pants down. -Give me that.
-I’m not okay. I didn’t want
to name him Pedro. When you said Pedro,
you can rewind to see I said, “I don’t know.” Breathe, honey. -This is very hard.
-Easy, c’mon… Stay there. I’ll just take Pedro’s clothes
to his room. No, you’re not! He’s grounded
and you’re giving him gifts. You let him do anything. I work like a motherfucker
to support a criminal? Stop it!
Don’t say that about Pedro! -It’s not Pedro, it’s Nelson.
-Nelson? Nelson is the name
of a good boy. He flip-flops with his friends,
but his grades are great! -Renato.
-Renato? No, not Renato. Renato buys a speedboat to compensate
the size of his dick. It can be something
like Anderson. Anderson is that guy
who’s on juice, has zits on his back
and poop breath. What about Victor?
I like Victor. Actually Victor sounds
bad at marriages. Someone who’s been
in a long relationship but doesn’t want to commit. At the same time,
his wife works a lot and doesn’t value him. At least he subscribes
to the Porta dos Fundos channel and likes the channel. You know what? I like Victor. It’s okay, honey.

100 thoughts on “PEDRO”

  1. kkkkkkkkkkkkkk mano, eu me chamo Pedro e tenho um amigo que se chama Guiherme kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

    OBS: Não estou copiando o Clivy Tyke [PEEDX] é q eu realmente me chamo Pedro e meu amigo Guilherme

  2. Porchat é um gênio,gênio do mal más é gênio 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  3. Porchat, eu queria que vc soubesse que toda vez que o YouTube interrompe meu vídeo com uma fucking propaganda sua do ifood, eu desejo uma morte lenta e dolorosa pra vc e toda sua família…

  4. Chamo Pedro, tenho um brother chamado guilherme que bebe pra caralho e começamos a fumar maconha juntos no segundo ano do colégio.

    Mãe? Pai?

  5. Mano sabe qual é mais dahora eu chamo Pedro tenho uma amigo que chama Guilherme e o apelido dele é Peludo kkkk
    E Guilherme me leva para o mal caminho kkkk

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *