Suck And Moan Episode 4: “Transformations & Tooth Decay”

Suck And Moan Episode 4: “Transformations & Tooth Decay”

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Peacock purchases the rights to a vampire versus zombie TV series. That network loves its reality TV. No, no, this one’s a cop procedural Just what the world needs. Law and Order: Zombie Edition. That could be the second dumbest decision they’ve ever made… Feel any different? Not yet Good sign.
Yeah. You said you were able to decapitate one with your tie? Yeah. I wrapped it around her neck, pulled tight, and it came clear. What kind of material is that? Silk? No, it’s a Poly/Cotton blend, I think. Oh. Must be pretty durable to take a head right off. Yeah. Wait. Why are you asking? No reason. That’s so degrading. You’re thinking of killing me with floss. No. Only weighing my options if you happen to go bat shit, zombie crazy on me. Well if that happens, I will hand you a sharp object. Whatever you do, don’t end it with an oral hygiene product. Especially not one you’ve already used. I’ve got plenty. It’s floss! This is Gortex. Strong stuff. We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. [Zombie moan. Knife slice. Body falls.] Damnit. Ya know, I wish I knew what symptoms I was supposed to be looking for. Craving brains over blood? I’m guessing zombie. That’s got to be an urban legend.
Why? They don’t seem to be too selective when they’re mauling people to death. Their lack of motor skills doesn’t necessarily indicate a flavor preference. So, you think they do lean towards one body part as opposed to another? Yeah. Who doesn’t? Feeding via the neck isn’t just for convenience. Besides the vein, the meat’s more tender there. You ever tried hitting the artery in the leg? Stringy as shit. You know, for all we know, they could just be making use of every part of the human body. Like Native Americans and buffalo?
Exactly. Makes you feel kind of wasteful, yes But who knows? Might not matter to you down the line. That’s just what I need. New eating habits. Can’t be too bad a transition. Brain’s still an organ with blood pumping through it. I’d imagine it’d be like a gelatinous heart. You don’t know how difficult it was to adjust
first time. I mean, I used to love the taste of garlic and now I have to monitor by intake like a diabetic. Hey. You have any more sharp objects? Look at all this stuff! Nice! Thanks! No problem. Hmm. Despite all the madness outside, you still maintain your compulsive dental habits. Hey. Proper dental hygiene is crucial to living a comfortable existence. Sorry, I never read that in the introductory handbook. A lot of these guys’ll complain that limb regeneration is a painful process Flesh heals easily and the bones grow back eventually, but trying to regrow tooth enamel [shivers] is one of the few things that reminds me we’re not completely invulnerable. in all my years that never once crossed my mind. When was the last time you flossed? I don’t know. I usually use a toothpick. You’d be surprised how much skin gets stuck up in there. [SAM Theme plays] I’m guessing that could be a symptom… [Captioning by Brendon Fong]
“Thanks for watching!”

8 thoughts on “Suck And Moan Episode 4: “Transformations & Tooth Decay””

  1. Thanks for watching, Paul! Be sure to tell everyone you know about our show! It was the lack of views that prevented season two!!!

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